A very therapeutic visit…

It had been a year and a half since my last visit with my therapist and it was time…

Was able to process my dad’s stroke and for the first time since July 2, 2016 was able to cry with someone else.  Usually crying only occurs for me when I am alone, usually laying in bed thinking about my dad and how my life has changed since receiving that awful phone call that he had a stroke and might not make it.  But he did!  He is alive and even though he is paralyzed on his left side, he is still with me but in a different way than before July 2.

She is just so wonderful!  I have to drive 45 minutes to see her and she asked me at the end of our session if a referral to another closer therapist was what I wanted.  I emphatically shook my head no.  When you find someone you trust and feel safe with it is worth the drive and extra effort.  Will see her again in 3 weeks and maybe my mom will come too!

My psychiatrist will be happy that seeing a therapist again is part of my routine although not sure how long it will last.  Time will tell.  Not worried about it at all!

Happy Monday to all!  Have a great week ahead filled with happiness and peace!

Pax

Victoria

In Limbo, not liking it

I’m not one to usually complain but the facts are that I am in major limbo right now.  My dad is not getting better but is also hanging on because he is such a strong person.  I go to the hospital every day and spend time with him which is precious and know he could have another stroke at any moment but I have a choice to make which I feel my finances have already made.

I need to work!  The bills dictate it and aren’t going away…  I am waiting on this one job in particular which would solve all our financial woes but the waiting is killing me.  On the one hand I love spending hours every day with my pa but if I get this job I will be limited to only visiting him as often as my schedule allows:(  And my mom needs me too but is managing to take care of herself pretty well these days.

My teenage son started a homeschool program because of his mental health disorder for his senior year and today we finally started it.  I am hoping he can get the work done and graduate…..

So many parts of my life right now that I am holding my breath on.  I know I need to trust and pray and live in the moment but it is very hard.

My disorder is under control although I still have bad days each week where I can’t find the motivation to do much but other days I am on fire.  I definitely have bipolar tendencies along with Schizoaffective disorder.

Did some therapy online which was helpful but completed that so now I just vent to friends and God.

What are some ways you stay sane when in limbo????

 

Here is to getting some answers soon,

Pax

Victoria