So many mistakes or missteps I like to call them…
I would never intend to hurt anyone; but yet this part of my body, my mouth, says things sometimes that just are not helpful. I am not perfect, and trying not to be anymore. Letting things go is what I need to do.
But my OCD along with my schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder prevents this at times. But I am learning as I go.
The problem is that I joke around a lot and sometimes the truth in the joke is just not a good vibe…
But I believe in the power of the mind even though mine may have a disorder. I choose to release these thoughts when they arise and just repeat the mantra, I am good, I am holy, i am humbled. And then think about something good and positive
I surround myself with positive energy. My son is a huge positive force in this house and is spreading his positivity getting paid to play video games on twitch. I observe at times with his permission and i am just so pleased with how he interacts with others and always tries his hardest to answer all the comments. He is an inspiration to me and the many who pay to watch him play.
I don’t need money yet today find myself in murky waters due to switching banks. new bank has a hold on all checks. Today is a holiday, so no one I can call. Life can still be challenging for sure but doing much better these days than ever.
So much helps me!
I am finally free from religion and loving my new blog http://www.allformycreator.com peace love and joy. It charts my spiritual progress or interests as I navigate through new ideas mainly alchemy, the physical, spiritual and mental aspects of life. Felt like this blog needs to focus more on the disorder where my other one is all about God and connecting with Him though nature, animals, people and the mundane.
Check it out if you are so inclined.
Back to topic.
RELEASING NEGATIVITY AS YOU READ THIS
there is so much negativity in having a mental health or brain health disorder. so much misinformation and stigma. it sucks really but must rise above. The fact that I can’t work a real job does not mean that others cannot. I work hard around my house and gardens and manage some personal real estate.
Its mainly fun for the most part but days like today that are hot leave me feeling drained and bored. Nothing is fun! But life is not supposed to be about being fun all the time. That would be boring really. Imagine living at Disneyland 24/7 that would get old and would lose its magic.
So I am taking this time today to do some reflection on my routine. With covid so much has changed, so must roll with the changes. I’m a work in progress and it just keeps getting better. As long as I can stay out of the hospital and function well I will be content.
As to the negativity I fight, well that was learned from my mom. I must unlearn it and fight this pattern that has held and served its purpose for long enough.
Positive thoughts, vibes, prayers and peace to you all!