To my twisted mind. Seriously though I am so happy to see different countries on my feed. Today was Romania. What a beautiful name. Romania. I get excited to know that my blogs although they may not have a ton of followers or likes or comments, they are getting viewed and I pray how I pray that my experience in treating my own mental health disorders often by myself will somehow touch others.
I am again at an impasse’. I fired my therapist for several reasons bottome line wasn’t a good fit. So I started consulting with others who treat DID disorder and found that I will make little progress while the perpetraor (my mom) is still active in my life. So basically I can’t fuckinng move on until my mom passes. My dad is close, but yet still life in him. Still concerned for others even though he is fading…
My DID disorder is starting to manifest physically now. Won’t go into too many details but it is stress related having to do with my bladdder. Which is really strange because the book I am reading, “you will never be normal” discusses major incontinence but mine is minor. Off to the doctor Monday.
Annoyances such as these are frequent lately. I just adjust and try to find my happy spot. Today it eludes me as I am on day 3 or 4 out of 5 till hubbie gets home. I think I am too attached to him and am going to take a step back ha ah. Let him romance me when he gets back! And not cheap wine and dinner ha ha just kidding. I’ll just be glad when he gets home honestly.
Anyway, this facade continues as I navigate my days through good things and bad. I do have a call in to my old therapist to be a sounding board for all that is happening.
Finding it hard to look up but that is all I have right now. God, infinite, all knowing and all powerful. Be at my side Jesus and help me to believe where doubt exists.
peace love light and joy