How you doing tonight?

I am still looking up to Him who made heaven and earth…

I see signs everywhere, and anyone can if they are open to all that God wants to communicate to them, sometimes it is a simple flower or angel number that brings me peace and hope for better times to come.

Today is windy. It frightens me and my daughter. So fierce, not benign. Gusty and cold. an ugly day but I refuse to let the wind control my mood. I will be happy if I choose it but today I choose to be sad with my dad barely hanging on by a prayer.

I love to write. I have written books, articles, now an ebook and going to work on my next ebook too after this blog. I must stay busy. I am not strong. But I have faith that God will hold me up when my dad passes into eternal life and rest. I cry every time I talk to him as it may be the last time we get to say I love you.

Ah, but this is meant to be an uplifting blog.

Let’s do a check in

Physical- have you eaten good healthy food? Have you gotten your rest? Have you taken your meds and supplements? My answer is yes to all. Currently sipping on a kale banana blueberry smoothie! Movement- not much here for me. Too cold to go for a walk but I know how important this is so will be getting in some exercise whether it be yoga or walking with leslie sansone.

Mental- meds yes, therapy scheduled for Wed, psychiatrist appointment scheduled, journaling and blogging to help me get out of my head for a minute, supplements are a must

Spiritual- I pray right now because I haven’t prayed much today except for in the morning when I first wake up I sit for 5 minutes with a cup of coffee and just thank and praise God for being alive. There is always something to be grateful for! I am grateful for my family right now and my best friends.

So overall I am doing pretty good minus the exercise. I’m thinking gentle yoga. How are you doing? Do a body scan if needed and see where your stress lies. Mine rests in my hands and the pit of my stomach. Holding a crystal helps and eating regularly healthy food helps too.

I did publish my first ebook this morning. I will share the link on here but seriously all the content is already on this blog so feel free to peruse May series coping skills unlimited for some good reading. right now all I can do is a few of the practices due to my state of being with my dad. But I can meditate, walk, pray, eat healthy and write. There will be time for the other activities once my dad passes.

Leaving you all with good thoughts tonight or today.

peace, love light and joy

pax

Victoria

Meeting one’s emotions

I have been touting the benefits of exercise so much but what to do when one can’t exercise due to weather, illness or busyness?  Take today for instance, I am home sick with a virus and binge watching Call the Midwife on Netflix and reading and unable to get in my usual miles of walking or my other exercises.  I feel absolutely helpless again…

I have been using exercise as a distraction from my emotions which still come just less often when I am exercising.  This is a tremendous realization and I am meeting my emotions with grace where before I ran from them through drugs and alcohol.  I don’t have to run anymore….

So I am watching Ted talks, reading uplifting stories about people who have struggled with mental illness and are doing well, blogging, eating a little, listening to Christina Perri and trying very hard to not feel sorry for myself.  LIfe is good, I am just sick at the moment and will be able to get back to my exercise again which helps so very much!

I still have Schizoaffective Disorder and even though the positive symptoms have subsided, the negative symptoms still affect me greatly especially at times like this when I don’t have the endorphins at my service when I exercise.  I have almost 3 months off of pot and alcohol which is great to be living life sober once again.

So much has happened in these three months.  I have had a lot of time to reflect on my feelings of inadequacy from having a very critical mother, being adopted, and growing up feeling unloved.  I am seeing a therapist again and it is very helpful to dig in to areas of my life which are untouched.

We all have them, times in our life when we felt disconnected and that occurred for me when I was abusing pot and alcohol.  Now that I am sober and in recovery I am meeting my emotions and accepting them for what they are and guess what?  It isn’t that bad.  Oh the feelings are very deep and there have been many tears, smiles and everything in between.  But it is all worth it on this journey of recovery which will never end.

Pax

Victoria

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Schizophrenia guide worth taking a look at!

I have reviewed it and was very pleased and honored to be asked my opinion on it.  I give it two thumbs up for accuracy, thoroughness and clarity.  Check it out and pass it along if you have the means to do so on your blog or other social media source.

https://www.junomedical. com/en/resources/ schizophrenia-guide.

 

 

I hope you will take a look at and leave me a comment on your thoughts below and I will pass it on to the creators.

Pax

Victoria