Late night musings…

It’s late and today was another good solid day of work, relaxation and everything in between.. I am no longer getting the brain mapping done. I shall explain below.

I am decidedly a much happier person no longer vaping nicotine or weed or drinking any alcohol. I am now working on my diet, not going on a diet, those don’t work, but eating when I am hungry whole plant -based foods 99% of the time. When I need to be sociable, I will eat meat or fish and have small amounts of cheese but no processed foods or sugar for this gal…

It’s amazing but it is so true that when the student is ready the teacher will come. My teacher was in the form of the passed on Allen Carr may his soul rest in peace, who wrote all the books that have unanimously helped me to understand and overcome addiction.

For instance it is a myth that we have addictive personalities. I always used this as an excuse for my using and drinking among other vices, but no more… I used to be addicted to those things but no more, I have been set free and I am elated as he promises in his books.

Here is my list of books I listened to on audible and the progression of what the last week looked like for me. It’s kind of really hilarious when I think of it but hey much progress in short time.

Allen Carr is the author of all these books

  1. Easyway to stop smoking (including vaping)- I was terrified to give up this addiction but I learned from this book that the myth that quitting is hard is really just that a myth. I read about this book but was skeptical but finally gave it a listen and he encourages one to smoke or vape during reading or listening to the book so there are no distractions. He also says to be successful one has to follow all the instructions which I did and even though once I realized that all that vaping was doing was giving me a head rush and causing me much anxiety and didn’t even want that final vape, I did it and gladly dumped all my vaping paraphernalia in the trash outside. FREEDOM. It was easy and all I had to do when I had a craving was to really embrace that I no longer do that and that it was a sign that my mortal enemy was dying, the little monster, the vape and the big monster is my head which is utterly convinced I will never pick up again. I had quit alcohol Feb 14th, got awesome news that changed my life, and knew I had to do this for myself… quit weed soon after and then quit vaping 3 days later. Not a miracle, just followed his instructions to a t.
  2. Easy way to control your drinking- surprise ending but no longer have any desire to put that toxin in my body but if I want a drink I can, I just don’t want to anymore he he.
  3. Easy way to lose weight, Easy way for women to lose weight and today just finished Good Sugar Bad Sugar which I probably should of started with. I had my final meal of my favorite pizza and a pepsi and made my solemn vow to never eat junk again. I will share more on this in a week or so after implementing the necessary changes to the way I eat!
  4. Easy way to mindfulness- this audible book is helping me to now stay in the present moment more calmly. Not quite finished with it but it’s there whenever I need more inspiration!

So that has been my week. 30 hours of listening on my phone to one of the most easy to understand authors and follow along taking notes when needed. Today if someone asked me that silly question if you could spend one hour on a park bench with one person from history it would be Allen Carr! Email me if you want a free audible book on any of the ones I wrote about. It’s free and would love for my readers to benefit too especially if one cannot afford to purchase the books.

That’s all tonight. Tomorrow starts my work again writing the 7 Ebooks. Please if you have any suggestions on any of the topics I wrote about originally mental health and …… or helpful ways you have overcome addiction or any other mental health related topic please email me at: victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com and thank you to all who have already shared their favorite tips of coping during this pandemic. I can share your name or anonymously if one prefers. But excited to get started in the morning after my breakfast of fruit…

Oh and that brain mapping I was going to do with neurofeedback? Saved me thousands!!! God is good!

peace, love, light and joy

Victoria

Totally clean oh my!

Well my little hiatus is over! I have detoxed successfully off nicotine and am sober, clean and even off caffeine! This is nuts!

Allen Carrs books easy way to quit smoking/vaping and drinking has made me a happy non smoker forever! It basically ruins your desires to ever smoke, drink or eat junk food again! Wow!

I knew February would be the shift in the alignment of the planets to bring much good light and joy to me and many who are open to receive the many blessings the Universe is readily handing out. God is so good!

I am sifting through some paperwork, taxes and whatnot and then will be working on my 7 ebooks again.

So much has happened since I last wrote! A tsunami of good, money and ideas are flowing. I lost communication with my dearest friend but that sad truth is a story for another day. I think I am just not meant to have close friends but that’s ok with me because I’ve been much more productive not having her in my life.

I will share more soon but just wanted to let you all know I am doing well! Quitting vaping has decreased my anxiety and quitting coffee has removed my digestive issues!

Can’t wait to get back to regular blogging! Thank you all for the wonderful support! I have received a few mental health tips from my readers for the books that I will be trying to finish end of March but no pressure. If anyone else has tips feel free to share them on here or email me at: Victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Peace love light and joy

Victoria

I’ve got it all…

Ok, this is crazy now, money has been falling my way for the last few years but it’s crazy because right now I am getting money from the most random places and some of it is a major monthly savings. I drive a 2003 suv so finally will be able to get a newer car. I love my car though…

But money isn’t everything! I am sober and soon to be done with vaping…

My health is questionable but seeing a holistic doctor soon but the paperwork is crazy long. I’m over half way done and should finish it this weekend…

My craziness still shows up though in different ways. I am not recovered. I get the urge sometimes to just get wasted but I don’t, anymore. No it is a sober life I seek and if you seek something it shall manifest.

Just like the money. I’m not rich but having an easy time saving instead of blowing it all. I can be very impulsive and sometimes I just do things like make a big purchase and then be like I didn’t even think about that. I just bought a good supply of my goterpy cbd oil to help with the anxiety and delusions. I still have some cbd oil but am increasing my dosage by half and already notice a difference although last night was hard.

Are you having money problems? Emit to the Universe your desire to get debt free and have extra money on hand and sit back, soak it in after a bit and then get busy figuring ways out how you can get more money. I recommend Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University which is a course I completed many years ago. But I still get their emails and do the every dollar budget when I have money to budget. This led me to a financial advisor who has saved me money and also helped us with better investments. I am not money driven but it is nice to know I am not watching every penny in my account.

So much going on I can’t share…soon!

peace, love light and joy

victoria

Returning to new normal…

Getting shit done

Relaxing and meditating in between

studying my big book of AA and next writing

letting people know I don’t drink anymore again…

It’s been a productive morning and I’ve been busy. Called my local Catholic Church to volunteer with a coat/blanket drive that Deacon Doug Halverson Rip Dec 2020 started many years ago. Didn’t get the response I wanted. I have such a huge heart for the homeless. Need to find a way to start my own drive of some sort. We shall see.

Action is important and so is giving back to this world which I have not always been able to do but I feel like I have a lot to offer just haven’t found my niche yet.

Now must write about my health history for a new holistic doctor who supports my medication management for Schizoaffective Disorder. It’s funny but he won’t even see someone unless they are willing to give up nicotine. Which I am and which may be causing the digestive issues???

Anyway boring boring boring. I have lived with this condition for almost 5 years…. and now I get to write about it fun. Sorry for whining but it really sucks to be stuck in the bathroom much of the morning.

I have a serious issue which I cannot write about yet. And my good news too! Some things are sensitive and must hold my space here and be good:)

peace, love light and joy

victoria

Worldwide blogging, that’s what I’m talking about…

I feel like I travel around the world 🌎 when I check my stats and see so many different countries… it’s wonderful really and I feel connected to each person reading or sharing this blog.

I am back at aa and have a tuff sponsor. Stopping drinking isn’t the problem but staying stopped is. I am also seeing a new doctor who is not a psychiatrist but has experience with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. We shall see!

Rough start and late afternoon difficult conversation with someone dear to me. Please say a prayer for this person 🙏

Thanks and peace love light and joy 🥲

Victoria

Caveat…

This is the rough draft to my new book coming out April 1, 2021, the caveat. Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Some days are hard, some days are easier and some days are just plain awesome! But every day is a good day if we are alive and alive we are so congratulations. This caveat is to simply state that we all struggle in different ways. My struggles may not be yours and vice versa. One must not compare for it is in this that danger and discontentment lurk dangerously. I don’t have to work a 9 to 5 job so basically have 14 hours a day to get a lot done. I have researched and through trial and error have better ways to cope with my mental health disorder. So take this book for what it is~ merely ideas tried and true. Some will resonate with you and some may be like she is really different. I hope you at least glean a little bit of hope through these pages that hope does exist in each and every one of us. Prayer, hugs, positive thoughts and vibes to all of you. We are on this journey together so let’s be friends.

pax

Victoria

A quiet poem tonight…

Gentle music

candles glowing

dishwasher running

kitchen tidy

with gratitude I complete another sober day, and it is back to AA that I have gone, it is the only program or way of life that helps me. I am a high functioning drinker. And with meds it just isn’t a good idea…I am here if anyone else struggles with this too?? Nothing bad has happened, except inside as I have turned to alcohol once again for a little while. But we must part, and good bye I say today and hopefully tomorrow too.

I have decided to start taking more of my cbd oil by goterpy. Because of other factors I have become a bit delusional again sorry to report. I cut back on my dosage to save money but it is worth it if these grandiose ideas go away. elusive dreams… that end in nothing but wasted time.

I am not in a good space but trying to look up. Not suicidal at all. Just wanting my life a certain way and it is not. I am all or nothing, no in between for me. Weirdly enough I do not hate that I have this disorder even when things go awry like trying to drink socially again. I didn’t have a drinking problem prior to getting schizophrnia/schizoaffective disorder.

My thoughts are on AA tonight. The magical solution. Let the brain washing begin. This brain needs washing. Amen. Thank you AA. I found a group I like that is called the spirit of the universe he he. Nothing but the best for me!

Working on books on Wednesday. Took a little needed break but back tomorrow if I can or Wed for sure if not. Writing helps me to focus, so I can’t wait to dig in! Still looking for help if anyone is interested.

I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com for questions, comments, help to quit drinking or to help with the 7 Ebooks on coping during the pandemic with mental health. Have started on first 3 and aim to finish them by the end of March which will mark one year of lock down during this pandemic.

I did get some fabulous news on Valentines Day! But can’t share yet because I have to keep this secret in my personal life except with my dearest friend…

peace, love light and joy

Victoria

Good is coming in many ways…

The planets are aligned;we are ready for good to come. For me it is financial and inner as I continue to face my demons.

But if you are reAding this emit to the universe all your desires and don’t leave any out! We can claim good! It will be manifested if we desire it! A pen and paper can help!

A good solid day of running errands. With my pup, my faithful travel companion. Picking up essentials and a few snicker bars for Valentine’s Day.

Life is good and I look forward to each new day…

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria

Easily obsessed…

No surprises here! Jason mraz has done it again as I have uncovered a unique version of his song I’m yours! It’s perfect inspirational music 🎶 that puts a skip in my step and soul.

I would share it but I’m on my phone but it’s on YouTube, a concert 🎵 with raining Jane right after the intro! Check it out and if you can’t find it let me know and I will add the link.

Today is a good day! I’m wearing purple today, flowered workout pants and violet top. I feel clean and pretty. My husband loves the color of my hair right now which is funny because I just bought some burgundy hair dye but will save it for another time. He is not one for many compliments so when he said my hair is beautiful I’m gonna keep it!

Spending the evening at a friends. Should be fun!

Have a great weekend! Had a hard visit with my dad yesterday so taking a break today to relax.

Pax

Victoria

Schiophrenia/schizoaffective disorder Education Series part 2…

Welcome to part two of this mini education series. To read the first part of this series click here; it discusses the positive symptoms of Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder. I wrote this in January and before I start to work on my seven ebooks, I want to clean up loose ends here. So this will be brief and hopefully concise yet informative.

So what are negative symptoms?

Wow! Tonta I am. I have already written about the negative symptoms on this blog. You can find it here. It explains what the negative symptoms are so please take a read if you have this disorder.

Negative symptoms are not talked about much so I think it is very important to discuss them. I currently do not suffer from the negative symptoms like I once did. I love life right now and am content with many aspects of my life that are hard but still looking up. There are many reasons why but the main help has been taking cbd oil from goterpy.

Next will be part 3 the cognitive symptoms. I know I haven’t written about it. It is going to be published once I have thoroughly researched it and the latest studies in terms of schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder.

If you are new to my blog check out my bio here. And feel free to use the search feature on this blog for any other topics about mental health that might interest you. May series 2020 I highly recommend.

Sorry for the disorganization with this series but heck it shows that I have schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder with some cognitive symptoms still!

I have so much going on yet at the same time I have time to write and do yoga and take showers more frequently again! Coming soon 7 ebook series!

peace love light and joy

pax

Victoria