Quitting smoking, finances and art oh my:)

Good morning to all my readers!

It is a special day for me, will share more about this at the end.

I have quit smoking with a plan and am on day 5 with not one puff!  I am doing a little vaping at 3mg, my CBD oil which helps me to be more creative, and nicotine lozenges.  I am doing this not only for myself but for my children namely my son Dominic….

Finances are not good, but I have a plan for that too.  Applied for a retail job last night, think it might be enjoyable to work at a department store for 20-30 hours a week and still help my mom and visit my dad.  Need the money and the low pay won’t affect my permanent disability if I get it.  It has been one month since the hearing, with one to two months to go to get the verdict.  The lawyer made a strong argument in my favor why I can’t work gainfully.  I think I will win but until I know for sure it is a little nervewracking.

But I have been keeping busy with my collages, lately of loved ones for birthday cards and made a family heart shaped collage for me to look at when I want to smoke.  It really helps.  Have been making meditation cards for an upcoming show also, have about 20 so far with a goal to make 20 more.  I do this when my husband is watching tv and I sit at the kitchen table in the shared room and collage, cut and paste these beautiful pictures of anything and everything from butterflies to a mosque.  Lots of nature pictures too and peaceful images.  Don’t know what to sell them for as they cost nearly nothing to make.  Spent 18$ on a laminator and ten bucks on the sleeves.  Oh well, not in it for the money anyway.  If anyone wants me to make them one email me and I can custom make one for just cost of shipping 1$ or so…  victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

So I am staying busy while I await the verdict… gardening some, sparking, walking, cleaning house, sanding cabinets to paint in the kitchen, and getting rid of anything that isn’t nailed down  ha ha.  Also been shopping quite a bit on Amazon, love their lightening deals.

Anxiety is managed at the moment and delusions have lessened again thanks be to God and Mary whose special feast day is today.  Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us!

Hope everyone is doing well too!

Pax

Victoria

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On upcoming hearing…

My disability hearing is coming up on August 14, I will simply state the truth..

That I am disabled and unable to hold down a decent job.  My anxiety rules my days although I do sleep at night.

I tried to work outside my field and did well in the training part of the job but when I was out of training I found it very hard to remember all that I needed to do and was severely stressed out each day I went to work.  My psychiatrist agrees and recommends that I don’t work.  I do help my frail mother at times and go see my dad who had a stroke and is paralyzed at a care facility.  But to hold down a job I just don’t feel capable due to the Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia plus depression.

I am not worried, God has my back but it is still stressful to go through it all and show up in front of a judge.

Pax

Victoria

Doing better again…

 

Nothing has really changed that much with my life, my dad is still dying and I am still unable to work but with the good support of family and friends I feel much better about all that is going on.  I am especially grateful to God for so many things.  I have new hope in the future.  Financial doings are even looking up so that is great especially at holiday time.  My daughter is coming home for Christmas so we both decided to decorate early this year.  My tree will be trimmed tomorrow evening and my daughter already has hers done!

I fill my days with pleasurable activities, shopping a little, coffee a lot and eating out with friends.  Walking 5 miles a day every day almost.  Took today off because it is Sunday though.

Anxiety is better at last.  I have several ways I relieve my anxiety naturally and as long as I maintain those things I am ok.

The Schizoaffective Disorder is under control because I take my anti-psychotics daily (2 kinds) and take good care of my physical health.  I exercise, sleep 8-9 hours every night, eat right 80% of the time and maintain contact with friends and family I choose to talk to.

I have lost 38 of the 50 pounds I gained when newly diagnosed.  I am happy where I am at and if I lose more I lose more.

I have accepted the fact that I may never work again.  Permanent disability is probably what I will end up on.  Se la vida.

Pax

Victoria