Sunday pondering…

Good evening!

I’m a blogging on my phone tonight; a new laptop 👩‍💻 is on the way!

Fell into some regret today, some dissatisfaction with my way of doing things because I began to compare my way to others and that is never a good thing! I am me, the only me I know! I must do as I see fit with the many gifts God has given me.

I had a good weekend though! Not too much trouble 👿 but if I was perfect what fun would that be? I visited my dad which was hard but recovered today with some prayer , walking, gardening and taking a drive with my pup!

Much thought lately about my childhood; it was a strict one. Still affects me today. Journaling really helps me to discover current patterns that may stem from my upbringing. More will be revealed…

I’ve already mapped most of my week out and hopefully nothing interferes with my plans. Gardening, writing, walking and organizing my home cleaning schedule with the Tomm method. Excited about my week 😊🙏

Wishing you all well!

Pax

Victoria

Found an amazing program…

Good morning all!

I have to share a new program I will be trying out that is local to my area. I did not even know about this opportunity. They have classes for anxiety and depression, dual diagnosis, creative expression, peer to peer, and more. Even have a walking group in person but other than that it is all virtual. I will let you know how it goes as usual but wondering if every state/province/country has mental help services like this one in your area. Where I live it is 211 (USA) to find out about such resources. Not sure in various countries but good to check out.

In the past I have not been interested in joining groups but I feel I want to at least give it a try. Wish me well!

Totally clean oh my!

Well my little hiatus is over! I have detoxed successfully off nicotine and am sober, clean and even off caffeine! This is nuts!

Allen Carrs books easy way to quit smoking/vaping and drinking has made me a happy non smoker forever! It basically ruins your desires to ever smoke, drink or eat junk food again! Wow!

I knew February would be the shift in the alignment of the planets to bring much good light and joy to me and many who are open to receive the many blessings the Universe is readily handing out. God is so good!

I am sifting through some paperwork, taxes and whatnot and then will be working on my 7 ebooks again.

So much has happened since I last wrote! A tsunami of good, money and ideas are flowing. I lost communication with my dearest friend but that sad truth is a story for another day. I think I am just not meant to have close friends but that’s ok with me because I’ve been much more productive not having her in my life.

I will share more soon but just wanted to let you all know I am doing well! Quitting vaping has decreased my anxiety and quitting coffee has removed my digestive issues!

Can’t wait to get back to regular blogging! Thank you all for the wonderful support! I have received a few mental health tips from my readers for the books that I will be trying to finish end of March but no pressure. If anyone else has tips feel free to share them on here or email me at: Victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Peace love light and joy

Victoria

Worldwide blogging, that’s what I’m talking about…

I feel like I travel around the world 🌎 when I check my stats and see so many different countries… it’s wonderful really and I feel connected to each person reading or sharing this blog.

I am back at aa and have a tuff sponsor. Stopping drinking isn’t the problem but staying stopped is. I am also seeing a new doctor who is not a psychiatrist but has experience with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. We shall see!

Rough start and late afternoon difficult conversation with someone dear to me. Please say a prayer for this person 🙏

Thanks and peace love light and joy 🥲

Victoria

Good is coming in many ways…

The planets are aligned;we are ready for good to come. For me it is financial and inner as I continue to face my demons.

But if you are reAding this emit to the universe all your desires and don’t leave any out! We can claim good! It will be manifested if we desire it! A pen and paper can help!

A good solid day of running errands. With my pup, my faithful travel companion. Picking up essentials and a few snicker bars for Valentine’s Day.

Life is good and I look forward to each new day…

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria

Easily obsessed…

No surprises here! Jason mraz has done it again as I have uncovered a unique version of his song I’m yours! It’s perfect inspirational music 🎶 that puts a skip in my step and soul.

I would share it but I’m on my phone but it’s on YouTube, a concert 🎵 with raining Jane right after the intro! Check it out and if you can’t find it let me know and I will add the link.

Today is a good day! I’m wearing purple today, flowered workout pants and violet top. I feel clean and pretty. My husband loves the color of my hair right now which is funny because I just bought some burgundy hair dye but will save it for another time. He is not one for many compliments so when he said my hair is beautiful I’m gonna keep it!

Spending the evening at a friends. Should be fun!

Have a great weekend! Had a hard visit with my dad yesterday so taking a break today to relax.

Pax

Victoria

Dreaming is first step…and in search of help with books…

because a dream written down becomes a plan and as goals unfold so do endless possibilities…

of excitement, thrill, success and failure too! But bouncing back from our missteps is the funnest thing. As we learn many lessons about what works for us and what doesn’t it is good to record it all.

I am grooving with my E-books, titling them, writing and feeling discombobulated so decided to outline them by book like I used to do in college when I had a major paper due.

And as we find our groove to the life that God has given us we can help others now and on the way!

It’s a lot of fun but challenging because I am so busy enjoying life that taking time to write how I got to this place after many years of complacency is a bit hard. So balance is key and I am now finding it.

I have just decided that I need collaborators and reviewers of this series so I am putting this out there to anyone with some free time and experience willing to help. Please email me if or comment your interest below. I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Here are the titles of the first five books and descriptions of them along with areas I am looking for others to contribute. If you are interested in this project which I hope to complete by March 2021, I can provide more questions depending on your level of interest in helping out. If you are willing I am even open to interviewing others who have similar or different ways of coping with this pandemic. This can be a worldwide effort! Australia, South Africa, Germany, Netherlands and any any country because mental health has no boundaries!

Book One: Mental health and Surviving the Pandemic Description- My story, my challenges, my successes, my hope, importance of taking care of our mental health. Contributors- Readers and personal experience especially on how has the pandemic has affected your mental health?

Book two: Exercise and mental health Description-how exercise benefits our mental health in a myriad of ways, obstacles and ways to get in a routine that works for you. Contributors- Readers and personal experience especially on what exercise do you love, like or put up with?

Book 3: Cleanliness and mental health Description- how does cleanliness help one from our personal bodies, to our homes, pets, cars and inner work Contributors- Readers and personal experience especially on what is most important to you in terms of taking care of the aforementioned?

Book 4: Food and mental health Description- the many ways that food affect our mood and how proper nutrition is paramount to healthy gut and brain health. Contributors- Readers and personal experience especially on what foods do you like that benefit you?

Book 5: Beauty practices and mental health description- how when we take care of ourselves and our homes and personal belongings we feel better inside. Contributors- readers, and personal experiences with this topic.

So that’s part of my dream, the final books will be revealed soon. Feel free to email me with any questions, comments, suggestions especially if you want to review the parts of the books and personal experience is really exciting that some of you might like to be in the book.

peace love light and joy

Victoria

Wednesday musings…

I find this day to be strange so far in many ways. It is my grandma’s birthday, so am celebrating although she passed many years ago.

But that is not why today is strange. No I set out my list last night for the day’s activities and although I didn’t follow it perfectly I am pretty damn pleased.

So far have eaten healthy, done yoga and abdomen exercises with stretching, taken care of my doggie’s hurt paw, braided my adult daughter’s hair and now blogging. I have been once again seeking balance in all I do and too much of anything even if it is good can be bad for you.

I have heard the term spiritual bypassing lately and I don’ t like it at all. I ditched a book that discussed this at length. I will always rely on God for my inspiration, my help my assistance. I will never consider this a weakness to rely on God too much so please don’t give up on God even if things are not going well for you. And if they are going well, well stop and thank God. It is that simple. done preaching ha ha

On to next topic. I am dedicated to getting in fit shape. I am talking my inactivity up til now must be conquered. I am an extremist so went out and bought some crazy colored workout pants to get me in the mood all day. I plank, try to do the splits and get up from sitting without assistance even on the ground. I am trying to get my steps in too. Taking a break now to do a Leslie Sansone walking video.

Be right back

Short but energizing workout.

My dad is stabilized again happy to write. God has plans for everyone but my dad defeats death regularly so it’s hard but happy today.

What else?

I am writing 7 E-books! Wow, came to me in a dream and i read that if we remember our dreams it is a message. So I dreamed I wrote 7 books so am going for it on Amazon. The first one can you guess is on exercise! The last one is on spiritual something or other and the ones in between will be revealed.

I am not there yet folks. I might be doing well in my recovery from schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder but I’m happy with being discontent. Because in discontent there is room for improvement and I am ever after self improvement at any cost with rare exception.

I write as I struggle to develop my practices. Writing helps me find my words that lie deep within ready to emerge at the right time. It solidifies much of what i am after. Still haven’t found a mentor but not going to let that stop me.

I have been listening to Zen studies podcast with a wonderful priestess. Very enlightening. Today instead of watching my show during breakfast I listened to her and it was better to be inspired rather than mindlessly entertained. We shall see if it becomes a habit.

wishing you all the very best

peace love light and joy

pax

Victoria

At a much better place…

I must live my life in a way that honors my dad. I must move on although my daily visits have ensued I gladly report.

But life, which has halted in many ways, now must no longer be stagnant but instead full of life and vigor…

this is possible…

the answer lies within us all as to what kind of life we want to live and how we can achieve it fully. People can serve as our guides along the way but in reality we know only if we are willing to look deep within ourselves and no longer fear what we see.

This introspection must continue with a sense of urgency as we are not promised tomorrow. And then we must look outward to help others, by prayer, by action, by talking about what is most important which on here is mental health.

I am currently actively seeking a zen life coach. I love this way of life and am curious to see if I have found one that feels I am a good fit. Interestingly enough I did not mention to him that I have a brain/mental health disorder. I really hate labels but my medicine gives it away. More on this later.

For now I want to focus on my questions that I have for my possible new zen life coach…

  1. How is it possible to detach (in my case from my dad) yet still care?
  2. How is my body possibly being affected by this anticipatory grief and my mind?
  3. I seek balance,especially in my daily routine, how can I find it with my many obligations?

Those are my starter questions.

It is evening right now and I have much on my mind.

peace love light and joy

pax

Victoria

On pause…even this disorder lies in waiting…

This world 🌎 is so strange right now…my dad is dying, any moment now, and covid has changed everything! Zoom instead of people coming over. Ah so what? We were still together. Covid cannot stop love ❤️

I am avoiding many things right now: driving, social media, certain family and wine. In that order, but making sure I take care of myself. Sleep, food, water! Exercise is minimal but don’t feel like doing much.

I’m being gentle with myself the best I can ! Today is my baby boy s 22 birthday 🎂! My daughter and I made it special and even just helped him make a wonderful meal. Clean up is done and my dad didn’t pass on his birthday!

God is good! I am also taking a break from blogging the next part of the series negative and cognitive symptoms. But if you want to read past blogs about anything including the fore mentioned. Just use the search bar to the left of this pages title.

Will still check in but so overcome by grief I don’t know if this makes sense but even my disorder waits on hold . Very clear thinking about much but still some confusion too. No positive symptoms not even delusional. Going to start some new projects once life continues.

For now thank you for holding this space with me! Peace love light and joy 🥲

Pax

Victoria