Sunday pondering…

Good evening!

I’m a blogging on my phone tonight; a new laptop 👩‍💻 is on the way!

Fell into some regret today, some dissatisfaction with my way of doing things because I began to compare my way to others and that is never a good thing! I am me, the only me I know! I must do as I see fit with the many gifts God has given me.

I had a good weekend though! Not too much trouble 👿 but if I was perfect what fun would that be? I visited my dad which was hard but recovered today with some prayer , walking, gardening and taking a drive with my pup!

Much thought lately about my childhood; it was a strict one. Still affects me today. Journaling really helps me to discover current patterns that may stem from my upbringing. More will be revealed…

I’ve already mapped most of my week out and hopefully nothing interferes with my plans. Gardening, writing, walking and organizing my home cleaning schedule with the Tomm method. Excited about my week 😊🙏

Wishing you all well!

Pax

Victoria

Passively suicidal at a thought of life without…

What is the one thing you cannot do without? It used to be coffee and vaping nicotine but now it is weed. The thought of living without it makes me want to rather be dead than alive. Rejection, loss, sadness, fear, isolation, rejection from one person who understands me. Is it addiction or rather just a way to feel normal? To relieve stress and relax?

Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention.

I get a lot done in a day. Today wasted 2.5 hours on a program to quit weed. Didn’t work. Why do I think so much about quitting? Would you all really like to know? Rather I title this blog as “God told me to quit 3 times” and try to understand why now even though I don’t believe it does me harm in any way except when I think of quitting. I shall gladly share if even one person likes this post…

peace love light and joy

victoria

Totally clean oh my!

Well my little hiatus is over! I have detoxed successfully off nicotine and am sober, clean and even off caffeine! This is nuts!

Allen Carrs books easy way to quit smoking/vaping and drinking has made me a happy non smoker forever! It basically ruins your desires to ever smoke, drink or eat junk food again! Wow!

I knew February would be the shift in the alignment of the planets to bring much good light and joy to me and many who are open to receive the many blessings the Universe is readily handing out. God is so good!

I am sifting through some paperwork, taxes and whatnot and then will be working on my 7 ebooks again.

So much has happened since I last wrote! A tsunami of good, money and ideas are flowing. I lost communication with my dearest friend but that sad truth is a story for another day. I think I am just not meant to have close friends but that’s ok with me because I’ve been much more productive not having her in my life.

I will share more soon but just wanted to let you all know I am doing well! Quitting vaping has decreased my anxiety and quitting coffee has removed my digestive issues!

Can’t wait to get back to regular blogging! Thank you all for the wonderful support! I have received a few mental health tips from my readers for the books that I will be trying to finish end of March but no pressure. If anyone else has tips feel free to share them on here or email me at: Victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Peace love light and joy

Victoria

Good is coming in many ways…

The planets are aligned;we are ready for good to come. For me it is financial and inner as I continue to face my demons.

But if you are reAding this emit to the universe all your desires and don’t leave any out! We can claim good! It will be manifested if we desire it! A pen and paper can help!

A good solid day of running errands. With my pup, my faithful travel companion. Picking up essentials and a few snicker bars for Valentine’s Day.

Life is good and I look forward to each new day…

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria

On pause…even this disorder lies in waiting…

This world 🌎 is so strange right now…my dad is dying, any moment now, and covid has changed everything! Zoom instead of people coming over. Ah so what? We were still together. Covid cannot stop love ❤️

I am avoiding many things right now: driving, social media, certain family and wine. In that order, but making sure I take care of myself. Sleep, food, water! Exercise is minimal but don’t feel like doing much.

I’m being gentle with myself the best I can ! Today is my baby boy s 22 birthday 🎂! My daughter and I made it special and even just helped him make a wonderful meal. Clean up is done and my dad didn’t pass on his birthday!

God is good! I am also taking a break from blogging the next part of the series negative and cognitive symptoms. But if you want to read past blogs about anything including the fore mentioned. Just use the search bar to the left of this pages title.

Will still check in but so overcome by grief I don’t know if this makes sense but even my disorder waits on hold . Very clear thinking about much but still some confusion too. No positive symptoms not even delusional. Going to start some new projects once life continues.

For now thank you for holding this space with me! Peace love light and joy 🥲

Pax

Victoria

Late night blog…

Hot tea, incense burning, lavender oil on pillow, and hand lotion, music so pretty, winding down for the night but it has been a crazy sort of day…

Melt down, recovering still, must be gentle with myself…

My best friend knows and is praying 🙏

No voices no messages and grateful for that!

I toy with danger at times and last night I got too close to the flames 🔥

Tonight it’s a 180’ turn

Much better and not bored

Good night 💤

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria

God is love…

And love is everything. In our love for the source of all that is good! Love must permeate my every action and belief.

I believe in an equal world 🌎 for all nations, genders, sexuality or lack thereof, religions, religious and atheists too! And to all who believe in communicating with the dead and God.

Bless you all! Every country, all people!

Namaste peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria

Shazam… my best thoughts for 2021…

A world 🌎 of peace, unity and less mental health stigma! I see this for 2021 with January still being hard but great things coming in February 2021!!

The planets will be aligned uniquely all because the Source of all that is good wills it so!

My personal goals matter and so do yours! It’s not about resolutions seriously but rather a way of life with kindness and love and joy at the center of it all near the heart ❤️ of Jesus!

Don’t worry about a thing! Just set your intention every day and watch as it gets manifested. Life is not long enough to do, say and write all that is important.

It’s about discernment. Does my next minute of activity need to be where I am? Or somewhere else? I am willing to help anyone through email correspondence and phone if needed, to help anyone find their purpose in life.

Before making the decision to work with me consider a few things, first are you willing to be open to new possibilities? Or are you content with your life? If you’re not I’m willing to assist.

I am not a therapist but am holding a masters degree in psychology and bachelors in sociology.

I have been diagnosed since 2008 with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, ocd, bipolar tendencies and anxiety. I am stable now for many years and love to connect with others. I saw Russia visited this blog recently! Welcome!

Also Ireland and many countries. Let’s connect!

I can be reached victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

God bless and happy new year!!! 🎊🎆🎈

Pax

Love light and joy

Victoria

Time…

Time is of the essence; we are not promised tomorrow.

Is my life the one I want? Am I content or ever striving for improvement in 6 main areas to be revealed at end of this theme. Suspenseful

Little by little I shall improve and with that I am content. Today nothing was easy but I conquered many a problem happy to report. It’s late and I’m sneaking in a blog before bed.

Ok so the 6 main areas are –

Spiritual- all for Jesus

Fitness- walk more, yoga daily and strength training, dance and gardening 🧑‍🌾 on nice days.

Nutrition- plan, shop, cook healthy but yummy

Social- meet a new friend this year ( might be when vaccines are more readily available)

Relationships- communicate better

Financial- pay off small debt, give more and save for emergency appointment with psychiatrist . Find new charity for cold people (just got my heater replaced) who need a new heater or blankets.

In time…

Pax

Victoria

Power, love, and synchronicity…

Power because we are not powerless. We have to strive for better days than most this year.

I welcome you to search this blog for a few more days any topic you are interested in. I may have blogged about it. Search symbol is at top left. Only will be there a few more days because I can’t afford it.

Back to power. We do have power with our choices. We can make better choices by reading and researching problematic issues in our lives. Do not let the power go.

One example is that I was very cold and my heater is broke so I decided to dance to George Michael (don’t tell Jason mraz please) and warm up! It worked! I used my power to change how I felt.

Change isn’t easy but one good choice leads to another and so on. If needed get a new perspective from a good friend or therapist. Change things up! Get crazy!

Love

Love is all I have right now. I love a lot and am loved too. This is important to recognize because sometimes I forget and gets sad. Growing up I felt unloved and unwanted. But it wasn’t that bad I am just extremely sensitive. I don’t hate this anymore.

Had a hard day today but love is carrying me through.

Synchronicity

Sometimes things work out so perfectly and other times not. Troubled waters are here again due to varying factors but I am still looking up to Him who made heaven and earth 🌍.

Today I read a great quote that went something like this – Lord why do you lead me through troubled waters? He replied that is because it is there your enemies can’t swim.

Still thinking about that one a while…

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria