May Series 2021 line up…

It is still April here but excited to start working on my May series 2021. May is also Mental Health Awareness Month so it is appropriate for May to be my theme month for a series. Kinda cool to me:) For last years May series 2020 you can click here. It is about how to survive the pandemic at home…At the end of the lineup I will include a short summary of what mental health awareness means to me. Feel free to chime in also. Safe Haven where I receive services asked me to type something up and send it to her to share anonymously of course.

Each day I will blog about one aspect of my diagnosis- I am including some descriptions and will tag all posts in case you miss one. I plan to use the newest DSM manual. Allow me to get some use out of my Master’s in psychology and dazzle you ha ha. Not sure yet but will probably be my typical storytelling along with information gathering to share.

  • Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective disorder- I have been diagnosed with both, originally Schizophrenia but when depression set in was finetuned to Schizoaffective Disorder and fighting depression again lately…
  • Depression- will discuss the intricacies of my personal experience with hard to treat depression and stories of others I have known since 2008 who have also suffered from it.
  • Bipolar tendencies- my many moods or is it something else?
  • Anxiety- how I cope on a day to day basis
  • OCD DID disorder/OSDD
  • The importance of a care team
  • Fighting the stigma right now!

I’m very open to topics and nuances others may wish explored along these titles. Feel free to email with any suggestions (see below for email).

Mental Health Awareness to me means being heard and having doctors and therapists, friends and family and sometimes strangers realize they are not in our head and can never be. For them to understand that sometimes it is super hard to put into …words what is going on with me. It also means fighting the stigma. We are not to be feared but respected and treated in a way that is not condescending or dismissive. It really means so much. I have been on the other side and have done my share of judging. But no more…

Please feel free your thoughts on Mental Health Awareness Month to share in the comments or I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com I respond to all emails so far. Might take me a few days but I think about it and answer when I feel like I can.

I had my “big appointment” today but sadly he didn’t know much about DID disorder and had never heard of OSDD disorder. He did refer me to a specialist (for me to find which I did) and basically when do I want to see him again? I am a little disappointed as he knew what I was seeing him for but it is what it is. I am throwing myself into my gardening, writing and cooking this weekend.

peace, love light and joy

Victoria

Releasing negativity slowly…

So many mistakes or missteps I like to call them…

I would never intend to hurt anyone; but yet this part of my body, my mouth, says things sometimes that just are not helpful. I am not perfect, and trying not to be anymore. Letting things go is what I need to do.

But my OCD along with my schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder prevents this at times. But I am learning as I go.

The problem is that I joke around a lot and sometimes the truth in the joke is just not a good vibe…

But I believe in the power of the mind even though mine may have a disorder. I choose to release these thoughts when they arise and just repeat the mantra, I am good, I am holy, i am humbled. And then think about something good and positive

I surround myself with positive energy. My son is a huge positive force in this house and is spreading his positivity getting paid to play video games on twitch. I observe at times with his permission and i am just so pleased with how he interacts with others and always tries his hardest to answer all the comments. He is an inspiration to me and the many who pay to watch him play.

I don’t need money yet today find myself in murky waters due to switching banks. new bank has a hold on all checks. Today is a holiday, so no one I can call. Life can still be challenging for sure but doing much better these days than ever.

So much helps me!

I am finally free from religion and loving my new blog http://www.allformycreator.com peace love and joy. It charts my spiritual progress or interests as I navigate through new ideas mainly alchemy, the physical, spiritual and mental aspects of life. Felt like this blog needs to focus more on the disorder where my other one is all about God and connecting with Him though nature, animals, people and the mundane.

Check it out if you are so inclined.

Back to topic.

RELEASING NEGATIVITY AS YOU READ THIS

there is so much negativity in having a mental health or brain health disorder. so much misinformation and stigma. it sucks really but must rise above. The fact that I can’t work a real job does not mean that others cannot. I work hard around my house and gardens and manage some personal real estate.

Its mainly fun for the most part but days like today that are hot leave me feeling drained and bored. Nothing is fun! But life is not supposed to be about being fun all the time. That would be boring really. Imagine living at Disneyland 24/7 that would get old and would lose its magic.

So I am taking this time today to do some reflection on my routine. With covid so much has changed, so must roll with the changes. I’m a work in progress and it just keeps getting better. As long as I can stay out of the hospital and function well I will be content.

As to the negativity I fight, well that was learned from my mom. I must unlearn it and fight this pattern that has held and served its purpose for long enough.

Positive thoughts, vibes, prayers and peace to you all!

Pax

Victoria