Depression…May series 2021

“When I get depressed it is like black blinders covering my eyes, I can see a very narrow light that is inaccessible” Susan from my stay in UCLA back in Jan 2008.

Susan was my friend during my stay (hospitalization) and I learned very valuable lessons from her as my own depression set in. I learned not to say that they didn’t look depressed because often people with depression are good at masking it; I know I am. At the end of our weeklong visit (joking) at UCLA she wore a yellow shirt (as opposed to her usual darker color choices) and I commented she must be feeling better. She scoffed not at me but that she wasn’t. She was receiving ect (electorconvulsive therapy) for hard to treat depression and I never know what happened to her but I still think of her a lot as I am currently in a very depressed state and wearing almost all black.

My depression situatuional has lifted becaus3e I cannot stand the grief. I am doing things that help and do not hurt me. Depression is very dark for me but I choose joy! Life cannot always be happy and I am learning this.

This is my feeble attempt at sharing during this splendid month.

I choose life, I choose joy, I choose all that is good.

Tomorrow will reveal more.

Excited for a new day of possibilties~

peace, love light and joy