Musings of the moment…

A good day for sure…learning to navigate murky waters.

Looking for the good in all people, places and things isn’t that hard if one considers the life that God gave us and it is up to us to fulfill our mission, whatever that may be…

For me I like to help out the homeless because I was once homeless too. I remember when a kind stranger would give me some spare change, while I was living on the streets of NYC. I would always be so grateful to buy that slice of pizza. My meal for the day if I was lucky.

Still not sure if I was pre-schizophrenia at that time or not. I was 18 at the time but I engaged in many dangerous behaviours from 13 to 20. Then got married to the most wonderful man, had three kids and home-schooled them but then developed schizophrenia at age 36, which was in 2006.

I have tried working but it never works out so I am on permanent disability since 2015. I also earned my masters in psychology and bachelors in sociology circa 2010 post diagnosis.

Life these days consists of lots of at home time. Connections are the most important thing to me, with my family and friends and strangers, with my pups and all animals and nature….

I don’t read much but enjoy a good show and love working with crystals. Life is too short for regrets and today I have no regrets. Missteps I like to call them but embracing these shadows and trying to live the life God intended.

I don’t hear from God anymore, which the silence is welcome but do still wonder how life would have been different if this or that…

Trying to spread positivity at every level from self love to patience with myself first and then others. Embracing who I am because I am the only “ME”.

peace love and joy and now light to all

pax

Victoria

This is me…

I am enough, more than enough; I do not need to dwell on my past experiences to solve them. Sorry AA but inventorying life just doesn’t serve me anymore.

I use crystals’ energy now, garden, cook, clean, tidy (there is a difference), connect with family, friends and strangers who you never know who will become a good friend. I also take my meds and supplements every single bingle day.

This is me…

I don’t feel I need therapy anymore except my free grief one working through anticipatory grief around my dad’s declining health. But he turns 83 next month! I love him so much and dedicate this blog to his health, physical, mental and spiritual.

I love my mom too and am so glad I still have her in my life although she still drives me crazy at times haha. Will really miss them both when they are gone. sad face:(

I try to use my time wisely so will keep this brief.

I have a mental health disorder and am doing pretty damn good. I am enough. I embrace my shadows and am no longer afraid for what the future may hold…

This year has changed so much.

My heart is heavy tonight.

This is me…

it comes and goes this heaviness

for the world.

pax

Victoria