Sunday pondering…

Good evening!

I’m a blogging on my phone tonight; a new laptop 👩‍💻 is on the way!

Fell into some regret today, some dissatisfaction with my way of doing things because I began to compare my way to others and that is never a good thing! I am me, the only me I know! I must do as I see fit with the many gifts God has given me.

I had a good weekend though! Not too much trouble 👿 but if I was perfect what fun would that be? I visited my dad which was hard but recovered today with some prayer , walking, gardening and taking a drive with my pup!

Much thought lately about my childhood; it was a strict one. Still affects me today. Journaling really helps me to discover current patterns that may stem from my upbringing. More will be revealed…

I’ve already mapped most of my week out and hopefully nothing interferes with my plans. Gardening, writing, walking and organizing my home cleaning schedule with the Tomm method. Excited about my week 😊🙏

Wishing you all well!

Pax

Victoria

Negative symptoms of schizophrenia and ginkgo…

As I have previously written, I have had a terrific breakthrough since last year dealing with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder by starting to take ginkgo bilboa by way of Shaklee Mental Acuity. Well my discovery was totally validated recently when I stumbled across a study on different interactions with herbs and schizophrenia. Allow me to take you on my recent path.

I was googling honeybush tea and schizophrenia to make sure that it was recommended. Well I didn’t find the tea but it is a wonderful pick me up for those low moments in the day! Instead I found proof of the wonderful benefits of this herb for those affected with this disorder.

The title of the study is called Updates and Additions for Herbal Contraindications & Drug Interactions plus Herbal Adjuncts with Medicines, fourth edition by Francis Brinker, N.D. He or she writes, ” A systematic review of ginkgo as an adjunct to antipsychotics in treating chronic schizophrenia assesses 8 randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind studies with 1033 patients enrolled, including 571 using ginkgo extract and 462 taking placebo. Ginkgo extract with antipsychotics significantly amelioreted [made better] total and negative symptoms, compared to placebo, with no distinguishable differences in adverse effects.” Guys beware though who take Risperdone with taking this supplement. I take Risperdone and have no adverse affects.

If you wish to read more about negative symptoms just hit my search feature to the left of the title of my blog.

I have much more to say about this but I’m tired so will post this and share more soon.

peace, love light and joy

Victoria

Updates on Mental Health groups…

Good evening!

Been stuck in my own head trying to wrap my brain around all the new groups I have been attending starting last week! I haven’t felt like blogging because of this and just haven’t really been in the mood. So tonight I lit a candle and am burning incense to inspire me. It’s working!

I want to share a few things I have learned so far and to share that it has all been the most positive helpful experience so far! These are the free mental health groups that I found and it is all virtual and local if things ever open up again I can meet the faces on Zoom. They do have a few in person groups but you have to wear two masks and I can barely breathe with one so I’m like nah. I’ll wait:)

The first class I attended was on coping with loss. Just three of us so very intimate. I shared my story about my dad still being alive paralyzed partially after some major strokes and how hard it is after close to 5 years living like this with my dad being alive but unable to talk to him because he sleeps so much:( The group was very sympathetic and I really liked learning that everything I am going through is normal for grief processing. I shared how I just don’t think about it or allow myself to, because it makes me so sad. This is ok! I thought it was wrong, forgetting about my dad, my heart and soul. But it is not. It is survival and an excellent coping mechanism

Next group was on dealing with depression and anxiety. What I got the most from this was that we need to use our wise mind. See diagram below. We all have a rational mind and emotional mind and balancing the two leads to using your wise mind. It has helped me greatly in making some pretty important decisions as of late. This is a DBT model if you are interested in learning more about using your wise mind.

Today I virtually attended a sound bath with crystal bowls. It was pretty cool and got me so relaxed that I have not done anything after until now! Would be better on a day when I don’t have a lot to do but it was nice to be relaxed for a few hours.

And last but not least was the DRA group. Dual recovery anonymous. Very interesting. It was a larger size than the others and there were three people who had been clean and sober for many many years. It gave me hope but I’m bummed because the class is only once a week and this week I have an appointment at that time:( It was also interesting because 4 people in the group myself included carried the dx of Schizophrenia and two of them were the ones with a lot of clean time. No nothing! I am inspired!

So that is the recap of what has been going on in my days. I try to only attend one group a day so it isn’t overwhelming. This week I plan to attend Intuitive eating and health; Increasing self-love and compassion; yoga and a couple more but I forget. I just have to organize my days around them so restructuring my time is a bit of a challenge but navigating it as best as I can.

I must be gentle with myself though and not get too overwhelmed by information but the groups aren’t demanding and they are very lbqgt+ oriented so it is a good mix of all types of people with all sorts of disorders. I’m glad I’m pretty good at not comparing myself to others. I am more on the vocal side but that’s just me. Some people are so quiet but often the same people are in each group so it’s nice to see familiar faces.

That being said though and I will say I have been journaling quite a bit lately and really discovering who I am. I am especially obsessed with my childhood and my upbringing. I’ve been making some connections lately which is great just don’t know yet what to do with the information. Perhaps one of these groups will help.

Hope this is helpful for ya’ll.

peace love light and joy

Victoria

Life is short and long…

Found out today from a reputable source in the schizophrenia field that covid is especially dangerous for people with schizophrenia. She wasn’t sure why but I want to encourage you all to take good care😊 I got my first vaccine already so I’m happy about that.

I also like staying home. It’s wonderful to support local families in their endeavors to make money. Just bought some cute Easter 🐣 bags for all my loved ones! Delivered and all!

Happy Good Friday to all of you. It has been a somber day…

Peace love light and joy

Victoria

Found an amazing program…

Good morning all!

I have to share a new program I will be trying out that is local to my area. I did not even know about this opportunity. They have classes for anxiety and depression, dual diagnosis, creative expression, peer to peer, and more. Even have a walking group in person but other than that it is all virtual. I will let you know how it goes as usual but wondering if every state/province/country has mental help services like this one in your area. Where I live it is 211 (USA) to find out about such resources. Not sure in various countries but good to check out.

In the past I have not been interested in joining groups but I feel I want to at least give it a try. Wish me well!

esoteric moments…

we are all rare, who share this disorder, schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or any serious brain health disorder.

and now i speak for me, i do not know what the future holds for me or any of you all. i am not a saint nor enlightened. i am confused about much but yet not unsettled about anything. most importantly I am not psychotic nor a danger to myself or others…

why do i write this? because i have some decisions to be made today, now, in this hour or maybe I should just take a nap like yesterday and never get those 4 hours back…

I needed the sleep so do not regret it but had to reschedule an appointment for taxes.

So much change I don’t know which way is up. As I find my feet for the ground, I must share that my psychiatrist appointment that cost $300 was well worth it if only I can take his advisement. oh if it were that simple. how i struggle right now for now knowing what to do…

peace love light and joy

Victoria

Obsessed and finding it nice…

Obsessed with 3 things right now. First, working on these books and it is coming along nicely. Second obsessed with the house and its many nuances of upkeep. Thirdly, am obsessed with what I put in my mouth and nutrition. I am questioning everything.

These are where my thoughts currently reside.

Been working on the books since 7:30am…

been working on the house too but the dishes are currently winning but not for long…

eating healthy food all day helps when one has the right food in their house, I was gonna say medicine cabinet and in a way that is what it is~our healthy medicine to eat right and for me the goal is not to need all of my supplements anymore.

My sister is popping by for a second today. She’s doing surprisingly well since the death of her husband. I really admire her strength and unwavering devotion to his memory.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

peace love light and joy

victoria

New eating regimen…

Veggies/fruit/seeds and nuts is my diet these days and I am loving it for the most part. Avoiding all bad sugar foods is easy as long as I have food I can eat. I don’t really care that much about eating anymore ever since reading “Good Sugar, Bad Sugar” by Allen Carr. It has really helped me to see how eating certain foods really fueled my addiction to sugar laden foods which I no longer am even tempted to consume.

Added benefit, down 6 pounds in a week! It’s just falling off!

Last night was a discombabulated mess. I went to bed early for me, 10pm, and forgot to take me antipsychotic risperdal because I always take it an hour before bed as it helps me fall asleep. In fact the few times I have forgotten it has been because I can’t fall asleep. But this wasn’t the case last night. I woke up at 330am and stayed up till 5am when I realized my blunder and took my pills and slept in till 930am. But I am still very tired???

I want to work on my book but may a little later….

Sleep really affects me!

pax

Victoria

Late night musings…

It’s late and today was another good solid day of work, relaxation and everything in between.. I am no longer getting the brain mapping done. I shall explain below.

I am decidedly a much happier person no longer vaping nicotine or weed or drinking any alcohol. I am now working on my diet, not going on a diet, those don’t work, but eating when I am hungry whole plant -based foods 99% of the time. When I need to be sociable, I will eat meat or fish and have small amounts of cheese but no processed foods or sugar for this gal…

It’s amazing but it is so true that when the student is ready the teacher will come. My teacher was in the form of the passed on Allen Carr may his soul rest in peace, who wrote all the books that have unanimously helped me to understand and overcome addiction.

For instance it is a myth that we have addictive personalities. I always used this as an excuse for my using and drinking among other vices, but no more… I used to be addicted to those things but no more, I have been set free and I am elated as he promises in his books.

Here is my list of books I listened to on audible and the progression of what the last week looked like for me. It’s kind of really hilarious when I think of it but hey much progress in short time.

Allen Carr is the author of all these books

  1. Easyway to stop smoking (including vaping)- I was terrified to give up this addiction but I learned from this book that the myth that quitting is hard is really just that a myth. I read about this book but was skeptical but finally gave it a listen and he encourages one to smoke or vape during reading or listening to the book so there are no distractions. He also says to be successful one has to follow all the instructions which I did and even though once I realized that all that vaping was doing was giving me a head rush and causing me much anxiety and didn’t even want that final vape, I did it and gladly dumped all my vaping paraphernalia in the trash outside. FREEDOM. It was easy and all I had to do when I had a craving was to really embrace that I no longer do that and that it was a sign that my mortal enemy was dying, the little monster, the vape and the big monster is my head which is utterly convinced I will never pick up again. I had quit alcohol Feb 14th, got awesome news that changed my life, and knew I had to do this for myself… quit weed soon after and then quit vaping 3 days later. Not a miracle, just followed his instructions to a t.
  2. Easy way to control your drinking- surprise ending but no longer have any desire to put that toxin in my body but if I want a drink I can, I just don’t want to anymore he he.
  3. Easy way to lose weight, Easy way for women to lose weight and today just finished Good Sugar Bad Sugar which I probably should of started with. I had my final meal of my favorite pizza and a pepsi and made my solemn vow to never eat junk again. I will share more on this in a week or so after implementing the necessary changes to the way I eat!
  4. Easy way to mindfulness- this audible book is helping me to now stay in the present moment more calmly. Not quite finished with it but it’s there whenever I need more inspiration!

So that has been my week. 30 hours of listening on my phone to one of the most easy to understand authors and follow along taking notes when needed. Today if someone asked me that silly question if you could spend one hour on a park bench with one person from history it would be Allen Carr! Email me if you want a free audible book on any of the ones I wrote about. It’s free and would love for my readers to benefit too especially if one cannot afford to purchase the books.

That’s all tonight. Tomorrow starts my work again writing the 7 Ebooks. Please if you have any suggestions on any of the topics I wrote about originally mental health and …… or helpful ways you have overcome addiction or any other mental health related topic please email me at: victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com and thank you to all who have already shared their favorite tips of coping during this pandemic. I can share your name or anonymously if one prefers. But excited to get started in the morning after my breakfast of fruit…

Oh and that brain mapping I was going to do with neurofeedback? Saved me thousands!!! God is good!

peace, love, light and joy

Victoria

Totally clean oh my!

Well my little hiatus is over! I have detoxed successfully off nicotine and am sober, clean and even off caffeine! This is nuts!

Allen Carrs books easy way to quit smoking/vaping and drinking has made me a happy non smoker forever! It basically ruins your desires to ever smoke, drink or eat junk food again! Wow!

I knew February would be the shift in the alignment of the planets to bring much good light and joy to me and many who are open to receive the many blessings the Universe is readily handing out. God is so good!

I am sifting through some paperwork, taxes and whatnot and then will be working on my 7 ebooks again.

So much has happened since I last wrote! A tsunami of good, money and ideas are flowing. I lost communication with my dearest friend but that sad truth is a story for another day. I think I am just not meant to have close friends but that’s ok with me because I’ve been much more productive not having her in my life.

I will share more soon but just wanted to let you all know I am doing well! Quitting vaping has decreased my anxiety and quitting coffee has removed my digestive issues!

Can’t wait to get back to regular blogging! Thank you all for the wonderful support! I have received a few mental health tips from my readers for the books that I will be trying to finish end of March but no pressure. If anyone else has tips feel free to share them on here or email me at: Victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Peace love light and joy

Victoria