This realization today that there is no shame in schizophrenia or any mental health issue came about due to the direct result of being made fun of for having schizophrenia. I will not name the individual that has prompted me to write this tonight but I told this family member that if they used the word “crazy” in reference to me, my child and my dog (can you believe that?) that I would simply hang up on them!
This is huge progress for me and I hope that if you are reading this and afflicted by ANY mental health issue that you won’t stand for ridiculing, in-sensitivities, or any derogatory reference to your mental health state, past, present and future. Of course kindness with firm boundaries is necessary but in my case today I know I had to be blunt about not standing for this type of abuse.
Luckily, they heard me but deep down I know they don’t when the next sentence out of their mouth was, I’ll just use the “C” word! Like that’s much better.
Why oh why do some people not get that we can’t help our thoughts, actions and decisions at times?
So whether one suffers from OCD, anxiety, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, psychosomatic illnesses, or you name it, do not be ashamed ever of who you are. Rather embrace these symptoms that make you who you are but also know that you may have limitations in your life.
I have concluded the following for me:
I cannot work due to stress
I should never handle finances or give advice to others on their finances. My husband knows this but still lets me be in charge of the finances despite the team of doctors at UCLA back in 2008 advising him to take over. He promised he would but never did. So I take no blame for doing poorly in this area. I have gotten much better but at the end of the day, I know we would actually have a lot more money if he was in charge of it.
My timing is often off and is my judgement
I get easily offended and take things personally often
I get obsessive over new relationships and then lose interest easily
While I am no longer psychotic due to taking kratom as an antipsychotic, I still have the above limitations. I see it as a good thing to “know thyself”. It helps me to navigate my life better and keeps me from losing all hope as I often fall as a human being as I did today.
But I am also very proud of myself for all I have accomplished in my almost 53 years of life. The most important thing that I can recognize is that I have raised 3 fine human beings, who aren’t perfect naturally but I am one proud mama to them and now my granddaughter.
I encourage you to make a list too as you ponder on this blog. Share it with someone you love and trust who will not judge you or ridicule you, although I do have some fun with my limitations at times and don’t mind the occasional poke of fun at the fact that I am human. I have no super powers I am realizing and happy with that!
Peace and love to you all!
P.S. stay tuned in for tomorrow’s guest interview with Bethany Yeiser founder of CURESZ! I will be publishing it at 6pm PST. It is a very in depth interview!