Today is a special day for me; it is the 16 year anniversary of receiving the gift of Schizophrenia.
The year was 2006. I had prayed to be able to suffer for God and He answered me in giving me the gift of Schizophrenia during Easter Vigil Mass in Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Guadalupe Ca. A Gift of confusion of the mind, messages, voices and much distress. I remember it all vividly. And it has brought me to a life of not being able to work, but being able to help many, through my blog, through my family, friends and strangers.
In some cultures people are revered if they have Schizophrenia. Well I don’t want to be revered but I have certain abilities that are at times unexpressed fully because of my Schizophrenia.
Today I awoke early and without much direction. I decided to read more of Yes to Life by Viktor Frankl. This was after I wrote in my journal asking God what He wished of me. I found much meaning in Frankl’s treatise on illness and suffering.
I could be in remission with the ketogenic diet if I chose. But I know that in my heart I am meant to have this disorder and must embrace it fully on meds. The suffering has eased much with my cocktail of meds just right but I still have lingering delusions which have lessened even more being on a ketogenic diet.
Some may call me peculiar that I would choose a life of Schizophrenia over a life without. II even do. But I know today with absolute certainty that I am supposed to embrace this gift and not reject it.
So this blog will continue with me having Schizophrenia and being on meds. For even though the meds stop the constant messages and voices, they do not eliminate when God wants to touch down and for that I am grateful.
But others who do not see it as a gift should seriously check out ketogenic eating to be put in remission from Schizophrenia.
I have meaning in my life today with my mad existence and I choose life over death again and again.
Off I go to eat some carbs. Off I go to make preparations for a wonderful Easter celebration tomorrow. And who knows I might even go to Holy Mass tonight just to see if there are any more gifts for me.
I believe in God, the father almighty who reigns over heaven and earth. But that is just me.
I will also be re-blogging my post on the gift and how I received it if I can find it. I am also in the process of revamping this blog to make it more user friendly. Thank you for reading and being a part of my journey. For those of you who have Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective Disorder and have been silent know that I pray for you much through the years of my blogging. Having this disorder is not always fun so feel free to write to me at my private email, as many of you have, who suffer with this disorder or any loved ones at email@example.com
God bless and keep you all!
peace, love, light and joy