Hope for the New Year

Dear readers,

Victoria here with late night blogging clean and sober…

I have taken another break from blogging as I had suspected since last post…

There has been ups (much time with my new granddaughter and daughter in law) and downs (this continued pandemic killing and dividing families) and lots in between…

but I have hope tonight after much prayer tonight, pray, hope and don’t worry says St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina. Easier said than done. Sometimes I think I will stop praying and then my late father and God remind me to never give up in prayer. I was reminded tonight as I have given up on my brother lately for various reasons which I shall not share here.

I, myself, am doing quite well in recovery from Schizoaffective Disorder/Schizophrenia. Happy to have recovered from DID disorder this year and for my dad’s timely passing into eternal life and his funeral/memorial finally taking place last week. I ended up giving the eulogy which I was very pleased with and of which many shared that I gave a very apt description of my dad, my hero. He is ever with me in spirit though and I have photos to prove it.

Orbs, stars, and lights all celebrate the life he now enjoys with God and those who have gone before him in death to this physical life. Precious moments of grieving my loss of his physical presence on earth but excited every day to see how he will present himself to me in gentle and not so gentle reminders of his ever presence in my life and those who loved him.

Birds, bats, the moon, ice cubes, music and more all make me think of him. I don’t spend the whole day on his memories anymore as I did the first few months since his passing. Sometimes when I hold my granddaughter I can feel his presence the most and for that I am very grateful to God almighty.

My birthday is October 16th, my granddaughter’s is October 17th and my dad”s and his twin brother’s is October 18th… Is this another strange coincidence or a sign of answered prayers of mine and my dad’s before his passing? I think and hope the latter. She is so precious to me and her mom, dad and the whole family on both sides. We all get along so famously!

Now that I am living again and living clean and sober I find myself happy to be alive once again.

Recovery is possible for those with this dastard disorder. I take my meds, exercise, eat healthy, pray, asking God for guidance and my dad too. And it is working…

But I must thank those who have made it possible to be here so grateful tonight. My husband, my children especially my daughter, my select friends, Safe Haven peers especially Jordan who I miss our talks and their understanding comforting words of encouragement. I have lost friends and family this year, and gained new ones. Life is the never changing circle of life.

I might be content tonight but my life has been plagued by many problems arising from the most unlikely places. For example the awaited glorious birth of my granddaughter followed the next night by the terrible accident of my youngest son (age 22), he’s ok but suffering still. The beautiful memory of my dad’s funeral/memorial preceded by half the family either getting covid or getting exposed to it and unable to come. The passing of my dad in my hometown in Ca while we were landing in Hawaii with the gift of one week of grieving in my favorite place on earth other than my hometown in Ca.

Life is bittersweet and this year has proven it.

But grateful that I am no longer suffering with this disorder because I have found the right med cocktail, discovered helpful supplements, and given exercise a chance to improve my physical and mental state. I have put in great effort to get here and I hope to be sharing more on Sundays.

So stick around and follow me if you please. Sundays are my rest day. And Sunday just ended here so with that I will bid you all adieu and wish you love, peace, light and joy today and every day and hoping to check in more often on here my new life as a gramma, momma, wife, child of God, sister, friend and more.

Pax

Victoria

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