This quest I am on involves many things as there are many facets to my disorder. Tonight I am saying goodbye to Storm (the part that doesn’t give a fuck). I have learned many things about Storm and her reason for being one of my parts. But we are safe without her so it is- see ya later Storm…
I see my pdoc on Thursday. I am also looking for a new one as this one doesn’t know anything about DID disorder and I am questioning if I am on the right meds for my Schizoaffective Disorder. I am checking with my insurance for an in network provider to see if I can save money too! I’m tired of the side effects and feel like a broken record.
Been active these days, walks, gardening and stretching. Feels good. Counted calories for half a day and got bored. I know what I need to eat so must plan better.
Now I would like to share my self-integration so far. I had 15 parts and am down to 10, if Storm goes. Lost one, little one, Francis (hard-worker), secret one and Storm are now no longer active parts of me. When they try to resurface, I gently (except must be forceful with Storm) ask them to leave and I distract myself as best as I can until me and the parts of me that I am allowing to stay (for now) and connect with all of us in any way I can. This feels safe.
I was moving a bit too fast because that is what I like to do. Impatient one I am figuring out too even as I blog… it seems like the secret to self-integration is to be really present and aware of why they developed and what they need to go away. Hope I am making sense!
Hope all of you are well~
peace love light and joy