October 5th entry from A Year without Fear by Tama Kieves 365 Days of Magnificence 5-minute mind-set shifts
“I’m going to ask you to trust in your life- more than in your script.
You are always where you need to be.
It’s not like the Universe dropped your call.
Your wise eternal inner self didn’t fall asleep at the wheel or started playing for the other team.
You’re still plugged in to power and flow.”
(from Inspired and Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work!)
I feel great! I am honored to be a part of the baby shower process and today we all met and I got to pretend I am fine. I am but I did a lot of self-integration today and boy it was hard work!
So tonight I decided to go to- my go to, this little book of blessings. Not every entry resonates with me but most do. Tonight I played book roulette and this page was the second one I turned to. Very fitting right now because I feel my life is falling apart around me. I realize I am being dramatic and I won’t bore you with details but I need a flipping break soon! I feel like I am under attack from ???
I have the power to heal though and I am trying everything in my power to do so physically, mentally and emotionally. Yet I am doubtful of the medication I am on right now, especially the anti-anxiety meds I am taking which don’t seem to work when I am under pressure. And I am tired of the akathesia (constant movement) a side effect from the Risperdal which I can’t sleep without. Appointment coming up with pdoc so will again address the Risperdal and see about maybe taking xanax.
I need to count my blessings as they are many, but am obsessed over many things I cannot control which cause me much sadness.
Praying for all of you!
peace love light and joy