Sure difficulties arise and I am stuck often but ultimately it is about my choices at the end of the day.
Ever since I realized that my busyness is often a distraction of unhealed childhood trauma, I haven’t been as busy ha ha! I do what needs to get done but took the last few days off just relaxing and reflecting on my life and how I often I get in the way of myself…
I enjoy being in the garden, yet I don’t relax out there nearly enough. This weekend I did though and it was so wonderful. I am still suffering greatly but have been able to push it aside and enjoy a few minutes, hours, days of fun, mixed with visiting my dad who is at the end, and still a joy. I visit him every day I can and I do this because I want to. I am not letting it ruin my days though and have been making time to do some really cool things.
I actually hung out in person with two other people, a gal and my non-binary peer counselor. It was chill! This was a major breakthrough for me to go and be with new friends. We walked from Safe Haven to a local coffee shop. I’m going next week again because we all enjoyed it so much at least I think so.
I am still having problems medically and have an appointment tomorrow with my regular nurse practitioner. Going to come right out and ask her if it could be related to my mental health.
Taking a break from my therapy until I know what to do next. I got some new perspective from my peers on the little field trip that I should pursue therapy but I’m kinda like not trusting anyone again with my stuff.
I don’t even want to share it with myself!
Anyway I am pushing through life with a smile on my face because I want to.
peace love light and joy