I have 15 separate identities, parts or alters or whatever you may wish to call them.
I have schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder, at least one of us do.
I am starting therapy soon, Monday! I am happy about that…
But I am scared as today one of my alters came out, the angry one. It scared me. I feel like I am losing control.
I am not suicidal; I am ready to be treated by a professionnal.
But the path I am on although unknown is sure… I am sure of that much.
I am strong; I am wise; I am ready.
Life is too short to ignore things that are serious and right now I have a serious brain disorder called DID disorder.
I am ready to integrate but don’t see how that is possible, at least on my own. I need help and I am getting it.
That much is sure.
I find myself at a loss for more words tonight and will probably be silent these next few days because of the anticipation of the upcoming assessment. Childhood memories are flooding me at a lessened extent. Some memories are very clear and others are completely gone. Gone forever unless the therapist is a magician. We shall see.
Wishing you all peace love light and joy