I am coming out…I am me with 15 parts…

I have 15 separate identities, parts or alters or whatever you may wish to call them.

I have schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder, at least one of us do.

I am starting therapy soon, Monday! I am happy about that…

But I am scared as today one of my alters came out, the angry one. It scared me. I feel like I am losing control.

I am not suicidal; I am ready to be treated by a professionnal.

But the path I am on although unknown is sure… I am sure of that much.

I am strong; I am wise; I am ready.

Life is too short to ignore things that are serious and right now I have a serious brain disorder called DID disorder.

I am ready to integrate but don’t see how that is possible, at least on my own. I need help and I am getting it.

That much is sure.

I find myself at a loss for more words tonight and will probably be silent these next few days because of the anticipation of the upcoming assessment. Childhood memories are flooding me at a lessened extent. Some memories are very clear and others are completely gone. Gone forever unless the therapist is a magician. We shall see.

Wishing you all peace love light and joy

Michelle

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