I am once again finding out about myself and it is a little scary. This is a different kind of post today because I am once again having an epiphany about my mental health.
But before I begin welcoming you to my mind I want to welcome my new followers with at least one of them being genuine. I so appreciate you all taking the time to read and learn and welcome comments or it seems to be emails is to be preferred. Feel free to reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org . I answer all my emails so far and really love getting to know new people with concern over loved ones with Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective Disorder and now DID disorder which I believe I have had since age 13 or earlier.
What is DID?
“Dissociative identity disorder (DID) was formerly called multiple personality disorder. It is a mental illness that involves disruptions or breakdowns of memory, awareness, identity and/or perception.” from Cleveland Clinic.
I have at least two distinct identities I can identify, one is very happy yet wild and one is very reasonable and disciplined. I can see pictures of me in both identities and it is very real. I struggled a lot as a teenager and I know it was from a very strict controlling environment growing up. PTSD or something like it. That and being adopted and being in three environments as a baby perhaps set it up.
The struggle is real for me though as I really don’t know what to do right now. Thinking about calling my pdoc for an earlier appointment to get diagnosed. Why do I want a diagnosis? For my disability case mainly. And to have someone confirm what I already know. And to get help but the help would be to do more therapy. blah blah blah, been there done that but not with this?????
And how I realized it was from attending those damn mental health groups where one participant had 32 identities! It is good to have an explanation but seriously I am so overwhelmed with grief right now.
My Schizoaffective Disorder is good right now though with the right meds and proper sleep and nutrition.
The worst part is that I don’t want to tell my daughter. I’m embarrassed to have yet again another problem. But it would explain certain things and she has always been wonderful. But my husband! Oh my!
This is weird to admit on here but still not giving up even though it is hard to look up right now.
peace love light and joy