Good food and structure…

These two things are my hardest to defeat. I used to be on a diet up until recently since I was 16 (51 now) and now eating has never been easier. I feel great and energized! It is amazing how good food can fuel you. I am falling in love with the taste of veggies and tonight made a no fat guacamole with instead of avocado it had edamame and steamed broccoli. Yummy! I really encourage you if you struggle with your weight or eating the wrong foods (its amazing how much one can learn when interested) or emotional eating to check out Allen Carr’s books on Easyway to quit emotional eating or same author Good sugar Bad sugar. It is eye opening.

Life has never been better after so many years of feeling bloated and fat. The weight is falling off I am happy to report and I am full with the foods I am now eating, seeds, nuts and fruits and veggies. Little bit of secondary foods but limited to small servings. Done with food he he. It just isn’t an issue anymore and I love it!

Now that my time has freed up losing all my vices including bad sugar, I was at a loss with what to do with my time! I would like to share my latest discovery that has helped me immensely.  I have started planning out my day the night before.  Every hour is accounted for and although I don’t follow it perfectly, it gives me guidance throughout the day which is in turn helping me to get more done. 

Before attempting to schedule your day though one must first decide 3-5 things on work and personal to work on and no more.  The idea is to not be doing too many things but to focus on just a few tasks each day.  At the end of the day I review my plan and circle what needs attention the next day.  I have never been a structured individual but have finally found a way that is working for me.  I use a yellow legal pad but any sort of notebook will suffice. 

Well I’m off to unwind from another very productive day. Hoping I can sleep in later than 6:30 am. I have reverse insomnia since I quit vaping nicotine. It sucks but now that I have my schedule, it is easier. If anybody has any tips how to get better sleep please email me or comment.

I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

peace love light and joy

Victoria

Thursday musings…

Welcome to my brain! Fortunately I am very focused right now and very clear in several areas that previously caused much confusion.

Still excited about my E-books. I have narrowed it down to just one book by end of March and then the rest will be published as I go. I am not happy with all my writing so far but that’s ok because I feel if it is meant to be it will become clear and I emit my desire to the Universe that I wish to use as few words as possible to bring my points home without ego. Ha how can I have any ego left after all that has happened?

I do because I am human but very humbled again lately. I have lost a dear friend. I was so close to her but it is not to be again. I keep misremembering all these quotes I read yesterday because yesterday was a bit of a rough day and when I find myself at a loss I read quotes for inspiration. But anyway the quote I am referring to went something like this. Don’t pursue people who avoid you. I had just sent her an email asking her to accept me back in her bubble with no response other than thank you. Timing once again…

It is just really painful ya know to again be without a confidante a friend I can really count on. Now that I think of it the friendship wasn’t even that great because it was always about her like 70/30. I have lost so many friends throughout the years and I must now obey what I know to be true and that is that I am not meant for close friends. A famous actress/singer wrote something about this that we are fine without any close friends so I know I will be fine but it’s hard because when you spend a year with someone a lot it becomes a habit and finding my new routine is once again elusive but it will become clear too I am sure!

I did schedule an appointment with my therapist who I haven’t talked to in months it feels. It will be good to process with her much about my dad and little about the loss of my friend.

I have been through so many changes these past two weeks. I will break it down easily. These are what I have no longer in my life and it is an adjustment but necessary and I feel I am on the right path or at least a good one.

Lost a dear friend

Let go of vaping nicotine, alcohol, caffeine (down from one pot a day to one cup if that), bad sugar, social media (very limited time on there) and yes I have finally given up on weed for good.

I am not suffering at all for the absence of any of these things (except teh friendship) because I have done them with the method by Allen Carr. My offer still stands if anyone wants one of his books, I can email anybody a free listen on audible if you send me your email. Smoking and vaping, bad sugar addiction, losing weight, caffeine, weed (can’t send this one though).

My life has changed over a matter of just a few weeks for the better. It is so great to no longer be enslaved to addiction. FREEDOM!!!!

So now I must admit I have been a little bit lost with what to do as much of my time has freed up now that I no longer pursue these activities. So yesterday I was really restless so I drank a beer (didn’t help), drank small cup of coffee (didn’t help), went for a drive with my pup, ate some bad sugar (couldn’t even finish it). Finally I decided to try working out and it helped greatly. Cannot undervalue the importance of exercise for our brain health.

Today I decided to try to schedule every hour of the day. I wrote out tow lists and haven’t followed either one. But at least I have a guideline for my day if I feel lost again. Structure is my nemesis but will keep trying to get the hang of being some sort of schedule. more on this later.

Well that was a lot! thanks for reading if you made it thus far.

Oh one more thing. I got out of serious debt last week! Money is coming to me from every place I couldn’t even imagine. But I don’t need anything except a newer car maybe. It is weird not having those hefty credit card payments monthly and nice to look at my accounts without the debt hanging over my head.

If your finances are your nemesis then I highly recommend Dave Ramsey’s FPU Financial Peace University. It took me years to stop charging and then to pay it off but it was worth it every effort.

Ok now I’m done I think,

peace love light and joy

victoria

Obsessed and finding it nice…

Obsessed with 3 things right now. First, working on these books and it is coming along nicely. Second obsessed with the house and its many nuances of upkeep. Thirdly, am obsessed with what I put in my mouth and nutrition. I am questioning everything.

These are where my thoughts currently reside.

Been working on the books since 7:30am…

been working on the house too but the dishes are currently winning but not for long…

eating healthy food all day helps when one has the right food in their house, I was gonna say medicine cabinet and in a way that is what it is~our healthy medicine to eat right and for me the goal is not to need all of my supplements anymore.

My sister is popping by for a second today. She’s doing surprisingly well since the death of her husband. I really admire her strength and unwavering devotion to his memory.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

peace love light and joy

victoria

Can one be a late bird and an early bird>…

Went to bed last night after midnight and up at 6:30am. Actually started writing at 7:00am which is pretty much a miracle for this writer. I made some hard decisions on different directions I want the book to flow. Why is it so hard to let my own ideas get in the way of getting this book published.

My adult daughter is now the editor in chief on this project. I think that’s cool and very helpful for me to have someone who not only knows me so well but is also very intelligent with her own observations. I still try to write my very best though and not take advantage of her. I got a lot done on the book this morning, hoping can become a daily routine. wake up and just write…

time will tell…off to work on the house.. would rather be writing but can’t sit all day even when I am on a roll.

peace love light and joy

Victoria

New eating regimen…

Veggies/fruit/seeds and nuts is my diet these days and I am loving it for the most part. Avoiding all bad sugar foods is easy as long as I have food I can eat. I don’t really care that much about eating anymore ever since reading “Good Sugar, Bad Sugar” by Allen Carr. It has really helped me to see how eating certain foods really fueled my addiction to sugar laden foods which I no longer am even tempted to consume.

Added benefit, down 6 pounds in a week! It’s just falling off!

Last night was a discombabulated mess. I went to bed early for me, 10pm, and forgot to take me antipsychotic risperdal because I always take it an hour before bed as it helps me fall asleep. In fact the few times I have forgotten it has been because I can’t fall asleep. But this wasn’t the case last night. I woke up at 330am and stayed up till 5am when I realized my blunder and took my pills and slept in till 930am. But I am still very tired???

I want to work on my book but may a little later….

Sleep really affects me!

pax

Victoria

Monday Morning Musings…

Good morning!

I am very hyper today because I finally get to start working on my 7 ebooks. It has been 2 weeks of many changes so I am seeing a new Reiki healer/crystal healer tonight to help me balance my chakras with all the new changes-quitting nicotine (it’s getting easier to smoke weed without the nicotine), quitting alcohol and bad sugar, basically a vegetarian now.

I am very pleased with my new life so can embark again on my writing projects. I have organized it all and ask for positive vibes, prayers, thoughts for me to be able to bring it all together.

I am still looking for input on some of the ebooks. So far I have pieces of writing from my readers on: food and mental health, beauty and mental health and exercise and mental health. I am still looking for people with a mental health disorder to help me out with my other ebooks on surviving the pandemic and mental health, having a spiritual practice and mental health, cleanliness and mental health and my favorite (well they are all my favorite actually) writing and mental health.

Please the time for publication is approaching with no pressure on my part but the sooner I can get everyone who is interested in helping others with a mental health disorder to participate the better. The time is now is my motto today. Reading about zen living is helping me to find my bearings and focus on what is most important right now. Allow me to explain…

One of the exercises in “Idiots guide to zen living” is to write out everything you want to do. I wrote a lot including learning Japanese and redecorating the house. Then they had me narrow down the list to the top 5 things to be your priority and to scratch the rest off the list. I did this and ended up with these 5 things to work on every day~

NURTURING MY RELATIONSHIPS

EATING HEALTHY

WRITING MY 7 EBOOKS

GARDENING

AND LAST AND LEAST MEDITATING 15 MINUTES A DAY

I actually had to get up and look at my list because I couldn’t remember what the fifth item was so I guess it isn’t really that important. So off I go to write some more. I shall be back soon. Bless you all!

peace love light and joy

Victoria

The Dreams bring back all the memories…

I have vivid memories of my (age 18) life in New York City, Lower east side Manhattan, Hotel 17, Billy the manager, me rented off and on for 3-4 months summer somewhere around 1988. Oh my! What a life. Roaming the streets at night alone but yet protected by some force never to be understood in this life on earth in this physical state. And then when money was low squatting homeless at a nearby abandoned apartment building. Sleeping in the cold until…. some things shall never be shared even here. But I did what I had to do stay alive and then Carrie a 14 year old runaway from New Jersey dies in a fire and I am left in a panic for fear of fate once again taking a friend away to alter my path in this unpredictable thing we call life.

More tomorrow about my time in New York in circa1988

peace to all!

pax

Victoria

True story of God touching down Part One…

I was in my twenties and had 2 children, one a baby. I had just “given my life to Jesus” at age 21 and was now 24. Pot has always been a part of my life as it helps me feel normal not high. So when I finally got serious about all aspects of my life being attuned to God’s will I prayed earnestly to know God’s will concerning my use of weed.

In 1994, the answer came in the form of a joint turning into the head of satan and ruining our high (me and another young mother who liked weed when you had to get it off the street) at least I think she saw it but to me it was an answer to my earnest prayer about my use of weed. I quit that moment for 20 plus years until 2016 when a tragedy stroke and I sought once again the relief pot gave me until after a few years of praying about it…stay tuned for part two, how God touched down again followed by my resistance

pax

v

Passively suicidal at a thought of life without…

What is the one thing you cannot do without? It used to be coffee and vaping nicotine but now it is weed. The thought of living without it makes me want to rather be dead than alive. Rejection, loss, sadness, fear, isolation, rejection from one person who understands me. Is it addiction or rather just a way to feel normal? To relieve stress and relax?

Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention.

I get a lot done in a day. Today wasted 2.5 hours on a program to quit weed. Didn’t work. Why do I think so much about quitting? Would you all really like to know? Rather I title this blog as “God told me to quit 3 times” and try to understand why now even though I don’t believe it does me harm in any way except when I think of quitting. I shall gladly share if even one person likes this post…

peace love light and joy

victoria