F’d up right now…

I took an experiment and it failed. Lesson learned now to move on. I took a holiday today to listen to Allen carrs easy way for women to stop drinking.

Drove an hour away and ended up at a dive lounge drinking. Omg! Bad news but happy to report that alcohol does nothing for me!!! But must wait til I’m sober to drive home. Ordered some food and have to wait it out.

I cannot drink or smoke. Bottom line. But this puritanical existence rest bothers me. To have nothing as a go but zazen and healthy eating seems impossible.

Oh lord please help!

If I don’t have an addictive personality let me know what I suffer from.

Please God help me to be at peace with no addition!

Peace love light and joy

Victoria

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