A quiet poem tonight…

Gentle music

candles glowing

dishwasher running

kitchen tidy

with gratitude I complete another sober day, and it is back to AA that I have gone, it is the only program or way of life that helps me. I am a high functioning drinker. And with meds it just isn’t a good idea…I am here if anyone else struggles with this too?? Nothing bad has happened, except inside as I have turned to alcohol once again for a little while. But we must part, and good bye I say today and hopefully tomorrow too.

I have decided to start taking more of my cbd oil by goterpy. Because of other factors I have become a bit delusional again sorry to report. I cut back on my dosage to save money but it is worth it if these grandiose ideas go away. elusive dreams… that end in nothing but wasted time.

I am not in a good space but trying to look up. Not suicidal at all. Just wanting my life a certain way and it is not. I am all or nothing, no in between for me. Weirdly enough I do not hate that I have this disorder even when things go awry like trying to drink socially again. I didn’t have a drinking problem prior to getting schizophrnia/schizoaffective disorder.

My thoughts are on AA tonight. The magical solution. Let the brain washing begin. This brain needs washing. Amen. Thank you AA. I found a group I like that is called the spirit of the universe he he. Nothing but the best for me!

Working on books on Wednesday. Took a little needed break but back tomorrow if I can or Wed for sure if not. Writing helps me to focus, so I can’t wait to dig in! Still looking for help if anyone is interested.

I can be reached at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com for questions, comments, help to quit drinking or to help with the 7 Ebooks on coping during the pandemic with mental health. Have started on first 3 and aim to finish them by the end of March which will mark one year of lock down during this pandemic.

I did get some fabulous news on Valentines Day! But can’t share yet because I have to keep this secret in my personal life except with my dearest friend…

peace, love light and joy


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