Big reveal tonight at 12am pst 2021…

Well well well tonight at midnight 🕛 I will be blogging my first post of 2021!!

I am so excited for a new year readers! I don’t have any clue what this blog will be about…

That’s part of my fun today! I am bringing in the new year properly but by myself and my comforts! Going to tidy the house and start the outline for the New Years blog! Any topics will be considered and welcomed. Comment or send me an email at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com

Pax

Victoria

Time…

Time is of the essence; we are not promised tomorrow.

Is my life the one I want? Am I content or ever striving for improvement in 6 main areas to be revealed at end of this theme. Suspenseful

Little by little I shall improve and with that I am content. Today nothing was easy but I conquered many a problem happy to report. It’s late and I’m sneaking in a blog before bed.

Ok so the 6 main areas are –

Spiritual- all for Jesus

Fitness- walk more, yoga daily and strength training, dance and gardening 🧑‍🌾 on nice days.

Nutrition- plan, shop, cook healthy but yummy

Social- meet a new friend this year ( might be when vaccines are more readily available)

Relationships- communicate better

Financial- pay off small debt, give more and save for emergency appointment with psychiatrist . Find new charity for cold people (just got my heater replaced) who need a new heater or blankets.

In time…

Pax

Victoria

Power, love, and synchronicity…

Power because we are not powerless. We have to strive for better days than most this year.

I welcome you to search this blog for a few more days any topic you are interested in. I may have blogged about it. Search symbol is at top left. Only will be there a few more days because I can’t afford it.

Back to power. We do have power with our choices. We can make better choices by reading and researching problematic issues in our lives. Do not let the power go.

One example is that I was very cold and my heater is broke so I decided to dance to George Michael (don’t tell Jason mraz please) and warm up! It worked! I used my power to change how I felt.

Change isn’t easy but one good choice leads to another and so on. If needed get a new perspective from a good friend or therapist. Change things up! Get crazy!

Love

Love is all I have right now. I love a lot and am loved too. This is important to recognize because sometimes I forget and gets sad. Growing up I felt unloved and unwanted. But it wasn’t that bad I am just extremely sensitive. I don’t hate this anymore.

Had a hard day today but love is carrying me through.

Synchronicity

Sometimes things work out so perfectly and other times not. Troubled waters are here again due to varying factors but I am still looking up to Him who made heaven and earth 🌍.

Today I read a great quote that went something like this – Lord why do you lead me through troubled waters? He replied that is because it is there your enemies can’t swim.

Still thinking about that one a while…

Peace love light and joy

Pax

Victoria

I am what I am…

I am nothing more; nothing less. Exactly perfect how I am. My good, my bad, my disorder which gives me great insight into my condition.

Found out today that it costs me practically $300 per visit for my psychiatrist visits New insurance baloney but I’m good so will see him less often and do get free samples but worries that my new insurance isn’t that great.

So what God always provides. I am blessed for sure. I am living in the moment and have found peace in my heart and soul. I am no longer troubled about things. I have acceptance and gratitude for all that is and all that is to come!

God bless all of you whatever your beliefs or lack thereof life is short so shout out a prayer to the Universe and Godspeed…

Merry Christmas 🎄

Pax

Victoria

If the plane goes down damn…

I have been listening to plane by Jason Mraz all day. It used to be a song I couldn’t listen to because it reminded me of when my brother in law was passing. Damn. It’s still hard and now his sister is very sick if you can spare any prayers.

I am ok. Had a visit today with my dad and was very hard. He says he is happy though so theres’ that. Emotional tonight and feeling the sadness I have in my heart for the loss of my dad how I knew him.

He is the father I love with all my heart and soul. I wear his ring on my wedding finger. Just saying.

Life is weird ya know. Like one minute all is well and then there’s like this terrible news that takes you back to memories of other terrible news. And it just makes one sad:(

But I will not let it stop my night of relaxing. no I will fight for peace and tranquility and offer up my humble prayers for Jim’s sister’s well being and sit back and watch God work. But it will be a huge blow if we lose her too. Blasted 2020! Be over be done. I am so ready for 2021!

peace love light and joy

pax

Victoria

I’m gonna write and write unashamedly…

Life is too short for regrets; i’ll say it again, life is too short for regrets. We have to make things happen. Like now! Emit to the Universe and the Source that is all good what you desire and wait back and watch what transmits.

Right now a miracle is happening! All I had to do was make the preparations and now my water filters are being changed by my 21 year old son who spends all day on his computer. Life is good.. Ah it is the small things. And the big things too!

Today was a big day. Much accomplished partly due to my husband being off for two weeks and I like to impress him. Wish I could be this productive every single day I am alive but alas it is not to be.

Take care

Much pax

Victoria

Learning to love our individuality…

We are all unique; special; wonderfully made….

I truly love who I am today. I am so much more than my diagnosis. I fight and today I kick-assed. I may not be able to hold down a job outside the home but I do so much every day, organizing, planning, paying bills, managing our properties and much much more.

Today I chose to forgo a popular routine of mine and ended up journaling at 9am! Didn’t write much but liked doing it because it puts what is in my head out on paper and helps me to know how I am doing. Today there was not a whole lot going on so I am going to journal at night as I am more of a night owl and get way more creative with my thoughts.

Onto loving our individuality… it is clear that no two people are alike. This is awesome! I often try when I blog to think what might be of interest. Well I am going to stop guessing and just flipping blog.

I love music! Jason Mraz is with me now on Youtube! He rocks! I love all my idiosynchroncies and nuances that make me unique. I love it when I am able to shed new light on a situation that may need it; and when I am able to give back to those from whom so much has been given.

I am no longer suicidal I just realized right now. This is great news! I want to live and see my grandchildren and see my adult children flourish as they already are…

I want so much but mostly I want an equal unified world. Nothing big God. Just what seems impossible at so many levels. But I can dream anyway along with others who came before me and stand on their shoulders and say I want change!

I have much hope in our new President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President elect Kamala Harris. May they help unite this world that is just a bunch of people like me trying to figure shit out. So on I go doing what I can by saying to all the countries that are visiting this blog~ Argentina, Germany, Uk, Mauritus, America, and many many more~ It is wonderful that we can unite on this blog at whatever level one feels comfortable.

God bless and God speed!

Pax

Victoria

Lucky or destined?…

Am I lucky to have a disorder which causes so much havoc. I know if it wasn’t for the protection of God I would be living on the streets somewhere. Already been there and done that so very grateful to have a roof over my head and many little luxuries.

My parents took care of me much of my life and now my husband and children do. But I get a lot done around here. The work is constant. Today I decided there will not be a dish in the sink. Failed already. ha ha oh well it is a good goal but not for me.

I am still working on this last few days of 2020 theme. Help me out. I have looked back at blogs that got a lot of interest and see that there is no common factor. So I will choose I guess and I choose hope for 2021!

pax

Victoria

Off the charts…

I still do really crazy things sometimes. My OCD took over today with my kitchen and cooking and clean up. But that is not what I am talking about. I say things at times that are inappropriate as we all do with or without a mental health disorder. But I really made a mess the other day. But I’m not talking about that either. I can’t share I guess how I get crazy because it is hard to put into words. Let’s just say I can still be very impulsive and impatient. ha ha, that is all I shall share today… got to keep at least some secrets.

Ah, moving on as I always do. Will do some crystal cord cutting later if needed if my words are still bothering me. Funny now all I have to do is think I will crystal cord cut and the issue gets often remedied without doing the action. That’s pretty cool I think.

I go through my days all right. Just finished a huge project for our properties. Feels good but now I’m like I need to get back to what I enjoy, yoga, gardening, working out, walking, playing with my pups and other’s, and making time for writing.

I feel my creative juices flowing so for the end of December I am going to come up with a theme being “We can do it”! Part one will come tonight or tomorrow. We can get through this last part of the year that has been so so so so so so difficult for many myself included. I will be doing this to encourage myself as well by posting every day what I am doing to take care of myself rather than my vices which are always there to comfort me when needed.

Did anyone catch the Christmas star tonight? I missed it but it is supposed to be out tomorrow night too must set my alarm. I just get so busy.

Life is good. Hope that is the same tomorrow.

Peace love light and joy to all of you,

pax

Victoria

The remedy at least for me…

I asked God today for direction and guidance. I have done this before and been amazed at the results. It’s a simple quiet prayer asking to know His will…

Interesting what comes up, do more of this, less of that and so on. Today a dear friend is coming over. It will be fun! I lit some candles and tidied the front room. I don’t have many visitors. Maybe one for 500 of my husbands. He has famous barbecues every week and lots of car buddies. I am content like this as I have my family with me and you never know when things will get hectic.

My husband is off for 2 weeks! Creativity at many levels. Again without the vices that lower my vibration. Must is a word I have found helpful. Must be sober, must write more, must exercise. Why? Because it helps me to live up to my innermost desires, which I believe are not too lofty.

I have always searched for the truth…justifications, excuses, distractions prevent me from living it, but sometimes like yesterday it was the perfect balance of activity, rest and relaxation. It’s the little things sometimes that make my day. Like last night, I went to be with clean sheets and blankets and took a long shower so clean me, clean bed. Went to bed at a decent hour and now ready for the day.

The choices we make today reflect our tomorrows!

So I choose good things again and again.

Have to lose 20 pounds! Bummer but I got this.

peace love light and joy

pax

Victoria