Things were intensifying. Many messages and late nights feeling the heavy presence of God. No drugs, no alcohol, but some stress of my grandma’s passing may have induced schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. Dx’ed in 2008.
Things other people take for granted became next to impossible like going to the store. Visits from God at these times or my disorder in full psychotic state, not sure really but it was pretty cool except for the time when~
I was walking down the spice packet aisle at my local grocery store and suddenly the command came to buy one of each. I ignored it at first but suddenly I found myself melting to the store if I did not do this weird thing. I hate to ever cause a scene so after several attempts to ignore what I thought to be God testing my obedience, I did it. I felt the paralyzing of my limbs when I tried to ignore the strong inner command.
$200 later I was leaving the store with bags of spice packets half of which I gave to a friend who I believed had shared psychotic disorder. Paralyzing, commands and testing are not of God I believe. I know now it was this dastard bleeping disorder. And luckily enough, do not have psychotic experiences since started taking goterpy cbd oil full spectrum the past few years.
I voluntarily entered UCLA in January of 2008 and the minute I started taking anti-psychotics meds the symptoms began to cease. The messages stopped mostly. God does break through at times in important things such as certain friendships and others I get the green light.
I must now release these terrible memories and do some cord cutting with my quartz crystal tonight, when the house is quiet…
Wishing you all recovery, peace and love