Goodbye Yellow Brick Road…

When are you coming down?

When are you going to land?

Not every day can be perfect and today was one of them.  It is only now after relaxing by myself for a bit and processing my day with a spiritual friend that I am able to write.

I am not going to share my day though!  Hah that would be too boring…

Just the end.

I caught the sunset and have been doing so for the last few weeks.  I can see it from my meditation room and the few quiet moments tonight as it was descending this song came on.  Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Sarah Bareilles.  Again music comes to my aid to enhance an experience.  And the answer to those questions is that my future lies beyond the yellow brick road.  For me that song had great significance in my recovery from schizophrenia.  As I said goodbye to my delusions I would sing with Sarah.  Oh how grande!

So what else do I have to say goodbye to?

Life as we once knew it, which is now riddled with fear and chaos.

To giving up.  I will never ever give up!  I can’t, I won’t.

Please if you are reading this don’t give up hope.  You can always reach out to me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com which is a private email closely monitored.  Thank you to the numbers of people who have written to me sharing their pain.  Some of them I have lost touch with others are still in my life.  The important thing  is to reach out if you are hurting to family, friends, therapists, psychiatrists and 911 if needed…

The hard way out would be to commit suicide but I would hurt too many people so it would be safe to say that I have many protective factors on my side.  Not all are so fortunate.  If you fall in this category, please know that I care about you.  I pray for my readers all the time…

I would like to say goodbye to my non productive days like today was.  My lowest point was lying on the master bed, which I had just made at 5pm, with a pile of clean clothes in my arms curled up in the fetal position.  I was just trying so hard to be productive and what I really needed was just a  good old fashioned lie down.  I proceeded to fold the clothes while laying down which I do not recommend if you want your clothes to be folded properly (hehe).

I realized soon after that my blood sugar was low after I ate a delicious chocolate m n m cookie and felt much better.  And drank my water after my umpteenth cup of coffee.

Well that is all for the night.

Working on my walking blog for the May series.  Hopefully will finish and post tonight.

Do you all like when I put pictures?

Seriously, email me at victoriamariealonso@yahoo.com as my email in-box has been quiet this week ha ha.  It helps me to listen to you and is safe.  And in this lock down a good idea to at least call, text, facetime, or email someone in your life, if not me, who has been a support or may be.  People, especially me, are not perfect but human connection is needed now more than ever so reach out.  Go and may God bless you!

Pax

Victoria

 

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