Beyond the yellow brick road….

I so desperately want this medicine to work.  I find myself fantasizing that I am no longer ill, but stable and able to hold down a job even if it’s an easy one.  I dream of the day when this disorder no longer controls me.


So far the new medicine is helping with:

connecting to family God and friends more and feeling deep emotions

I am hungrier again (gotta watch that one, don’t want to regain all my weight)

no longer delusional, don’t believe I am the greatest person to ever live anymore.  What a relief!

using music as a major coping skill while I sift through the laziness or drowsiness caused by the new and old med

How I am still suffering

unmotivated at times to do the simplest of tasks

feeling overmedicated being on three antipsychotic meds

poor memory, and judgement

question every decision many times


May God bless you all as He has me!



One comment on “Beyond the yellow brick road….

  1. Irene says:

    How I wish you didn’t have to go through the ordeal brought about by schizoaffective disorder, Victoria. But I do believe that God has a beautiful, unique plan for your life, just as He has on anybody else’s. Sometimes, though, God’s way is the way of the Cross, just like how He willed it on His Son, Jesus, who so obediently followed what the Father wanted. I know the difficulties you face will only make you even closer to God.

    “Those who sow in tears will reap with cries of joy.” ~ Psalm 126:5

    Love, blessings, and peace to you. 💖💕


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