A poem about waiting…

Waiting…

Time seems to move so slow when I am waiting

but alas it always comes eventually

well not always

the delusions come and go too

one minute I believe them to their very core

and again I believe that I am very special to a very great degree

the next I am disproven and relieved of the burden they bring

but I wait with joy

and each new day brings more peace as I trust in God Almighty, who made heaven and earth

Pax

Vicoria

Update after hearing

It has been since August 2015, 2 years ago, that I have been waiting for my hearing.  And Monday it finally happened and lasted fifteen minutes!

And now I have to wait two more months for the verdict.  Lord help me!

My lawyer says it went well.  To me it is all a big blur.  I felt like the judge wasn’t even listening to me about why I can’t work because she kept looking down and then would immediately ask the next question.  I understand my lawyer’s line of questioning which essentially were to prove I  couldn’t work at any of the jobs they mentioned, but I felt like there could have been more said, just saying.

So all in all it went well but I will have to try very hard not to think about the fact that I may have to go to appeal…

God’s will be done!

Pax

Victoria

 

On upcoming hearing…

My disability hearing is coming up on August 14, I will simply state the truth..

That I am disabled and unable to hold down a decent job.  My anxiety rules my days although I do sleep at night.

I tried to work outside my field and did well in the training part of the job but when I was out of training I found it very hard to remember all that I needed to do and was severely stressed out each day I went to work.  My psychiatrist agrees and recommends that I don’t work.  I do help my frail mother at times and go see my dad who had a stroke and is paralyzed at a care facility.  But to hold down a job I just don’t feel capable due to the Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia plus depression.

I am not worried, God has my back but it is still stressful to go through it all and show up in front of a judge.

Pax

Victoria