Hanging on to delusions helpful?

Is it helpful to lose one’s delusions or is it better to hang on to them to have some semblance of normalcy?

At age 8 I heard the words “you are special” and then nothing until many many years later.  But I have always believed it in and out of my reality.  Now at age 44 I sometimes don’t believe it although it pains me when I think this way so I will tell you the end of the story, I do believe I am very special because I have to, if I don’t I just want to die, don’t believe in God, and have no reason to live or love.

When I was a teenager I experimented with drugs and ran away to New York in search of meaning for my life.  I was suicidal and basically was going to go out with a bang, partying and seeing the world.

I jumped out of airplanes, soared high on drugs, and took many risks across the country and back here in California my home state.  But through it all God protected me from an untimely death.

I came to believe in a power greater than myself to help restore me to sanity and I promised my will to Him who made heaven and earth.  I am working on being a saint now with the same fervor I had when I went to New York by myself.  I have found truth in the Catholic Church and have all the saints on my side as I work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

Pax

Victoria

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