With my daughter here visiting from Colorado we have had lots of time together and amazingly we picked up right where we left off except that I was really able to verbalize to her the truth of my condition. How I still suffer much and about what my bad days now consist of. I don’t share this with anyone.
My psychiatrist wants me to see a therapist but it is hard to trust someone…
For now being able to share with my daughter is enough. I want to be alive. I want to life life. I want to be ok…..
My husband wants me to work in the new year. We shall see…..
For now I will keep doing what I have been doing, work intermixed with fun and relaxing things. Today I walked five miles and it felt great in the cool weather. Enjoyed an old favorite candy bar while walking, chewy and peanut butter anyone heard of an abazaba?
Anyway, even got all my Christmas cards done ready to go out tomorrow. Feels good and I have a sense of accomplishment.
I have had a few delusions of grandeur and felt like people and the angels and saints are watching me at all times. But it doesn’t interfere with my functioning level, it just is.
God is a huge part of my day. I pray the rosary every day and pray throughout the day to the heavens to hear me and have mercy on this poor soul afflicted with mental illness.
I go places through the day and no one suspects that I have a mental disorder. So that is good.
Well good night you all. I will be posting a dedication to my father on Christmas so stay tuned.
Wishing you all peace and love!