Eternal love

As my dad prepares to enter eternity, I am greatly reminded not only of his love for me but also his limitations in understanding my disorder.  He has tried to be positive towards it but honestly he doesn’t get it at all.  But when he is in heaven he will understand fully the plight of my every day bane existence.  The struggles I have every day and most importantly how much I love and appreciate him for all he has done for me.

He will finally understand what it means to have this disorder, the ups and downs, the doubts of reality, the difficulties of getting around day to day with sometimes the most simplest of tasks.

I am Catholic so I will be asking for his help when he finally dies to enter eternity.  I know he will be with me even more than he is right now as he lays dying at the hospital.  He still knows my name and says it when prompted.  God I love this man so much!  Even in his dying days I am grateful to have had him still in my life, even though he cannot speak or laugh or smile the way he used to.  I love you dad, more than life itself at times and you will be and already are greatly missed.  Thank you for choosing me and loving me and being there for me when I was hurting and sad.  May God bless you and lead you into his kingdom with grace and dignity and eternal love.

Although I am very sad right now readers know this I will not give up!  Never will I give up, I have too much to live for and too much to do still in this lifetime.  I have been a little bit suicidal because of my dad dying and all but I still have my sons and daughter who adore me and need me so much, well some of them more than the others, mainly my teenage son.  I must be strong for him.

Pax

Victoria

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One comment on “Eternal love

  1. Victoria, this post took a lot of courage to write. Thank you for sharing about your father. You and he will be in my thoughts as you go through this time.

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