Merry Christmas 2015 and Happy New Year

Having this disorder can be especially challenging for several reasons.

First on my list is the social gatherings.  I do not do as well in groups and feel awkward when I try to jump in the conversation.  To counter this I am trying to focus on one or two (at most) people to talk to during festivities.  So often the holidays go so fast and I sometimes feel left out.  This year will be especially hard due to the fact that I am trying to go on permanent disability so I don’t have work to talk about.

To catch some of you up I was working in the mental health field until it became clear that working caused too much stress which ended in my last hospital stay last year at this time.  I finally figured out that I can’t work.  Hospitalizations are expensive even with insurance.  I have also had all my student loans (100,00$) forgiven due to my disability so that is pretty cool don’t you think?

The other hard part of holidays is all the food.  Because of the medication I am on, I cannot eat like regular people.  I joined Weight Watchers April 2015 and have lost 30 pounds through making good food choices and exercising a lot.  I walk from 3 to 10 miles a day depending on my mood and the weather although I go to the gym sometimes when it is too cold outside.  I love food!  One hypnotist I saw last year explained to me that it isn’t just the medication which causes weight gain but that the medicine actually causes one to crave sugar and bad carbs.  Weight watchers helps me to find food which is still tasty with less calories, sugar and saturated fat.  I hope to be at goal in April 2016 so that is only a year of hard work even though I still slip up.  I am hoping for a better holiday season than ever before but it is hard with all the temptations around me at the holidays.

My daughter is here for the holidays and we walk every day weather permitting and it is fabulous to have her around for two weeks as she is such a support for me and my disorder.  I do have a couple of good friends who I use for support when she is away but it isn’t the same so I am really enjoying her being around to help motivate me.

Speaking of motivation my goals for the New Year are to wake up every day and after coffee and a light breakfast to walk or go to the gym.  I really feel like I have wasted the day when I stay in my jammies all morning.  Part of the problem is that the medication leaves me drowsy in the mornings but I have been able to get up and get out with my daughter this past week and a half so I am hoping I will keep it up.

Other goals are to cook more healthy recipes, work on my photo albums, find some new music I like, continue to help my parents in whatever way they need it and to finally get to my gardens this spring.  Without goals I have nothing to reach for, which when I feel like I am not productive all I have to do is look outside or in my fridge and I will feel better about myself not working right now.

What are some of your goals this new year?  Share in the comments or send me an email at

Hoping everyone has good holidays this year and Happy New Year!!!











One comment on “Merry Christmas 2015 and Happy New Year

  1. Dear Victoria, I’ve been reading your post with much enthusiasm, I suffer pretty much the same, I feel your inner desire is to be able to work, you have succumbed to your destiny as a disabled person because of constant inner fight. I do respect your decision to be with your family and enjoy as much as you can, but I suggest, have a purpose, desire, overwhelming passion…. you yourself are a psychologist, don’t handle stress, stress is there even in normal people. Stay with it, learn to make desire win over destiny.
    Thanx a lot for writing to me, I am suffering but dont know from where that will comes to fight and hope…..wish the same for you. Good luck.


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