The process of recovery

 

It isn’t easy having schizoaffective disorder, at times it is downright painful.  Dreams lost, inability to do as much as I once could, and always trying to find that balance between spiritual, physical and mental health isn’t easy.  But I keep pushing on despite the many barriers to my well-being.  Right now I am forcing myself to walk to get my double expresso around 5 miles.

The many ups and downs keep life interesting but can be tiring.  One day will be fantastic and I won’t want to go to bed it is such an awesome day.  Other days I can barely get through the day and go to bed early.  I need to keep a schedule, much of what I do is according to my mood although I do force myself to do certain things, like walking to get coffee just to get out in the sunshine and get some exercise.

As far as my work, I do not know what I am doing right now.  I am off work for 6 weeks so far and do not feel ready to get back to the same job although I do very much miss several of my clients and hope and pray they are doing well without me.

I eat well, exercise daily and keep myself socially connected with family and friends.  These things are important to my recovery and I thank my therapist for encouraging me to keep a mood journal to show me the benefits of following it to see my patterns.  All of this and taking my medication daily faithfully helps me immensely.

Acceptance is key too, accepting I have this disorder with limitations.  Fighting it doesn’t help anything.  Not using drugs or alcohol is also very important to me.  When I alter my mind with some substance I risk psychosis and that is not a place I want to ever be again.

The days that are hard I look in the mirror and assure myself that I am ok and that is enough!

Pax

Victoria

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