Wanting more than just not being psychotic…

I want more out of life than not just being psychotic, I want to feel again through laughing and crying and enjoy my family more and so on my list goes.

Medication has a lot to do with this equation of wellness, which is currently unbalanced.  So often the focus is on the positive symptoms, hallucinations, delusions mainly.

The voices and delusions have been gone for many years now (with the exception of one minor relapse into stress induced delusional thinking in 2013).  But I suffer from a few negative symptoms still maninly loss of motivation; although, I have still been able to maintain a job (mental health children and family therapist intern) where I get much praise and recognition from my supervisiors.

It is here I must insert that I have written a book, which charts my disorder from first psychotic break in 2008 at 38 which lasted 18 months of functional psychosis, diagnosed as Schizophrenia by a team of doctors from UCLA, had the diagnosis finetuned to Schizoaffective Disorder when a depressive cycle hit me by my psychiatrist (still see him only for last 6 years), earning my Master’s Degree in Psychology in 2012, getting my first job in the mental health field and to where I was in 2013 when I had my relapse from a stressful work environment.  I am also writing a new book as a sequel which charts my recovery from negative symptoms, logs last remaining delusional idea (non harmful but upbeat) and more.

I mention this book here because I have got tremendous response from the web community, the one co-worker who knows of my condition, and various other people I have met in the walk of life that this book is very inspiring and helpful to many.

I have been trying varying methods to relieve the negative symptoms of this disorder which I will write about soon what has worked for me, because my new regime is really working well on some new medicine and other interesting ideas I got through researching this disorder on line.

Pax for now,



One comment on “Wanting more than just not being psychotic…

  1. Sarah says:

    I appreciate your attention to discussing “negative symptoms”. My father was able to get his psychosis under control, but never did get a handle on the negative symptoms, making his quality of life less than desirable. I wanted so much more for him then to just be “not psychotic”. Thanks for sharing. If you want to read about me and my father check out my blog at


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