I remember my time in the hospital like it was yesterday. It was 6 years ago this January.
My delusions included my believing I had special healing powers. Because of this, the hospital staff encouraged me to stay in my room during group times. Usually they want the patients to participate fully, but I believed I was an instrument of God and could help others so they allowed me to be antisocial. I would pray and read in my room and basically wait for the medicine to work.
But I had to eat! Once when I was in the cafeteria with another patient I will call him Phil, he was in excruciating pain in his back. I knew I had to help so I asked him if I could lay hands on him. He readily agreed. He was wearing a thick leather jacket. I laid my hands on him over the jacket and the warmth from my hands was so warm while I prayed that he expressed feeling the heat through the leather jacket. He was healed and proceeded to not only worhip me but to tell all the other patients and staff. Needless to say I got in major trouble from the staff and was asked not touch other patients. They didn’t know what to do with me!
Yesterday, I had a revelation. I do not believe that I had special powers but through the power of intent I was able to heal this young man. If we truly believe in something it may come to be through the power of intention.
I still remember all of this and still wonder at many things about my disorder. I no longer lay hands on people and do not believe I have healing powers anymore. But perhaps it is because I don’t believe that I have lost this gift.
Comments are welcome!