Perfect love casts out all fear…

To love and be loved by another (in this case it is me and my son) in a perfect union of delight in each other’s lives and the family especially our nuclear family. To care more for the well being of each other than for that of ourselves in an imperfect dance of one trying […]

The test of Sanity and Well Being…

In “Holistic healing for Beginners Series, What Makes Me Feel Better?” by P. Restaino they use a scale to measure sanity and well being. Today I rated the answers and I scored very mentally sane and sound. I wish to share tonight these examples they use to see where improvement is needed. I’ll skip the […]

Putting out fires one at a time…

I have had to break from my regular blogging but I am taking care of much business that I have neglected for the last few months. I am focused, sane and have still had many fires to put out, sometimes gracefully and sometimes not. But I am doing it with the help of kratom and […]

On this Sacred day…

As we remember this solemn day and all those who passed away on 9/11, I also remember my dad who passed away exactly 1 year ago today. He was a huge history buff so it was not surprising to me at all that he passed into eternal life on the 20 anniversary of 9/11. I […]

When you have nothing to give…

Today was draining and it is only 2pm. My highlight of my day was my 10 month granddaughter crawling up me like a slide and kissing me crazily. How I wish I could spend more time with her as when I am with her all my problems seem so small… It’s amazing how a baby […]

0000 Bring it on! Starting Homeopathic treatment for psychosis 9/7/2022…

Update 9/15/2022 I have stopped this treatment and have learned that it is placebo. I do not recommend this treatment for anything as serious as psychosis. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ My homeopathic treatment for psychosis has arrived and I am starting it tonight at midnight. I am excited, nervous about the diet that goes with it and hopeful. […]

Keeping it real…

This blog tonight is dedicated to a very special individual, couldn’t have come this far into reality without them… As my new life unfolds in a very beautiful way that is hard to describe in words, I am reminded once again to look up. I am sane, content and safe. I do not know what […]

Positive breeds positive…

What we think of ourselves we shall become… As I have said recently, I choose life over death,, I choose positivity over negativity. As my kids have up in their make shift gym from 2020, “Positive Vibes Only” Sometimes I am not allowed in the gym haha but not by my kids, by myself. As […]

Being Truly Alive…

Whether it is finding sacredness in the mundane or silent moment, this blog is an attempt to describe what being truly alive means… Silence is rich, but most people including me at times find that “people need noise” anonymous However it is in the silence that one may be able to listen with their heart […]

After a very busy fun day!

Today started with sleeping in late, then a mad rush to get to an escape room with my family. This is the second escape room we have done and this one surpassed the other one in Maui last year with its 80’s theme! We were rocking out 🎸 to 80’s jams madly trying to beat […]

The Importance of Rest…

Every day possible we need to get a good nights rest and an occasional nap. We do so much at times and our mind, bodies and spirit can only handle so much. We can honor these three aspects of our human condition by resting. Taking a break from whatever we are busy with to stretch, […]

True to yourself…

Welcome Panamá and Zimbabwe! I love it when new countries visit my blog, but also appreciate all countries in this big world that seems smaller as we connect through the written words and the occasional vlog. Some of you were unable to view it I understand so will stick to blogging for now. Thanks for […]


Faithfulness to myself for all that I know is true to be. Which stands without saying to be true to God, who has many names, but is the same God of us all, I believe this to be true, but stand to be corrected the day of judgement. Faithfulness to not give up or give […]

The finest things in life…

I write this wisdom that I gleaned from my dad over hours of coffee and his beautiful speaking about the finest things in life… Family is number one and everyone is family. Not things, riches or new cars. Being present each moment possible for whoever is in our path! Always with a positive outlook and […]

Faith in the Fire

It’s easy to have faith when things are going well… But to have faith that all will be well when the walls are crumbling down, that is different way to be. I will speak from my own experience these past 52 years. A lot happened to me when I was 5. Good and bad. I […]

Yesterday is old, today is new…

How many yesterdays do you have? Truly have? I have none because we cannot hold onto yesterday. Although wouldn’t you all agree that yesterday is the building block for today? It is indeed old and today is new, new beginnings abounding, new life transforming, new ideas, new plans. I shall spend eternities trying to understand […]

Things we have no control of…

Are things meant to be? Or do we have a hand in our fate? How do we know what we need? I do not have the answers to these questions tonight and won’t until I am on the other side. With my dad I love my life. I am not complaining about my lack of […]

Trouble here in Mexico

We travel home tomorrow. My time here in Mexico has been awesome! It has been a great and restful trip. This morning we got news that there is much trouble here in Mexico 🇲🇽. Riots, attacking civilians and increased police presence with a shelter in place at night in Ensenada and Tijuana. We will be […]

Coping with Loss

My dad’s year anniversary of leaving this earth is coming up. I am at peace but because I am human still coping with the loss. Loss of anything is hard but our loved ones is even harder to bear. Time does not ease the pain of no longer having our favorite people with us. No […]

Heart beating in Excitement!

Today has been a different day of sorts! Short recap and then tonight’s excitement with my WhatsApp friend in Australia 🇦🇺 Woke up fine. Good nights sleep. Plans to go to Ensenada today. Then started feeling ill but not terrible. Didn’t go with husband and family to Ensenada. Stayed behind FaceTimed with new friend in […]

No such thing as time

Time is necessary though for us humans. We always want to organize ourselves so we label things such as time, diagnosis of various disorders, and ourselves. Time has stopped for me here in Mexico 🇲🇽. There is morning, and evening that much I know. All else simply isn’t important. Time in heaven is a beautiful […]

Mental health issues and drug addiction

Which comes first mental health issues or drug addiction? I can speak from my experience and my observations only. As usual comments are welcome! I have struggled from both. Mental health issues began for me in the 8th grade and drug addiction soon followed. My parents did their best but the controlling environment didn’t help. […]

I’m in Mexico 🇲🇽

I am so blessed to be in Mexico tonight on a warm evening all by myself on this beautiful patio with grapes growing overhead. I’m supposed to be at my husband’s uncles funeral but I got mild food poisoning and decided to stay home. I’m weak and exhausted from all day travel but I’m at […]

Almost Midnight Musings…

Hello world! For those of you have followed me for a while you will remember my many blogs that were titled “Midnight Musings”. I would post or publish a blog with my random thoughts, not at all concerned about SEO or content or anything but my rambling while psyhcotic. Well tonight I am resurrecting this […]

Recovery from Schizophrenia

I have been so busy the last few days that my recovery from Schizophrenia hasn’t even been an issue now that I am in full remission. This is thanks to kratom, an herbal supplement available in only some places in the world along with a lower dose of my anti-psychotics. Ironically, now that I am […]

Beyond Psychosis

I’m ready for real life beyond psychosis. I’m always amazed how God works in various areas of my life even when I don’t pray. I prayed a lot when I was psychotic and now am busy living my sane life free from all delusions. So maybe I have quite a bit of prayers in the […]

Psychosis Recovery Inventory

This psychosis recovery inventory is aimed to help learn when one may be entering psychosis. My partial recovery story began in 2008. This was when I was first put on anti-psychotics for schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder. Anti-psychotics did stop the most annoying positive symptoms, mainly auditory and tactile hallucinations. But it did not stop the delusions, which […]