Welcome to my blog! Please feel free to read this short bio if you are new, return readers can scroll down to new post, thanks.
My name is Victoria and I suffer from Schizoaffective Disorder (SA), which is basically Schizophrenia plus depression; this blog journals my progress from fall 2013 to now although I was diagnosed in 2008. I have experienced both the positive (hallucinations and delusions) and negative symptoms (lack of motivation, flat affect. social difficulties) of Schizophrenia and while the positive symptoms have been under control with Risperdal, since being diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder by UCLA in 2008, I have still suffered from the negative symptoms until recently when my psychiatrist added Latuda. Post diagnosis I received my Masters Degree in Psychology and work in the mental health field currently.
I started this blog in fall 2013 which journals my personal recovery from Schizophrenia. The earliest entries chart my psychotic period 2006/2007 with much in between and my current focus is managing the negative symptoms of Schizophrenia. I welcome all feedback and enjoy meeting new people through this blog and other articles I have written. I have also written a book which is available on Amazon by me, Victoria Marie Alonso- My personal recovery from Schizophrenia, which is for loved ones or those afflicted with this disorder. This blog has been viewed over 6,000 times and by over 50 countries! Bienvenidos a todos! Welcome to all!
Please feel free to email me to share your story or that of a loved one at:firstname.lastname@example.org
Other mental health providers or researchers are welcome to ask any questions, as well.
One of the most debilitating problems with this disorder is that in group settings I am often quiet and feel very awkward when I do add to the conversation. Today was a bit of a breakthrough. I am forcing myself to get out of my house more and participate in the world. It feels good to have friends and family that I care about and that they care for me and accept me for who I am, disorder and all. Many of them even forget I have a mental disorder because I am pretty good for the most part.
My weekend started out rough though because I ran out of my anti-anxiety meds and had an anxiety attack at an AA meeting. I excused myself and waited out in my car because I had promised a good friend a ride after the meeting. My best friend came out of the meeting and another acquaintance came too to check on me. I was pretty anxious but was appreciative that they came cared about me. We talked for a while and it was a really neat experience to have people genuinely interested in my well being.
After the meeting I went home and cleaned my house! I haven’t done that for a while because of different reasons but it felt really good to have a clean house that I cleaned not somebody else or just lived with dust and dirt until one of my kids or my mother-in-law would do it. I decided to spend the day by myself because I could and have been so busy with friends and family that I haven’t had much alone time. I was ok with myself but wanted to spend some time with people on Sunday because I was afraid I would be bored at home all day alone again, which is what I would do up until recently.
Sunday I invited my dad over for muffins and we hung out for a while with my kids coming in and out. I received a text from my friend Julia to meet up at a new coffee shop. I invited my dad and we both went and had a great time hanging out at this really cool coffee shop. I was out so I stopped by to see another friend who is having a hard time right now but she was asleep and I had some time before a little party I was invited to was going to start so I went shopping and then to the party. Mind you on weekends I normally would just spend time on my computer and watching shows on Netflix. It seems that now I get these invites and it is way more fun to hang out with people.
The party I went to had about 15 people and at first I was super anxious but then got really into the conversation. I asked questions and was genuinely interested in the responses and had a really nice time. I was nervous about the party but it was great. I am back at work tomorrow but hope to have more weekends like this where there is a good balance between alone time and time with friends and family.
Have a great week everyone!